Honestly, I don't see it as much of a contest. Bloody monster in a toilet battled by a motley assortment of childhood friends with extreme personal problems (each of which was at sometime the personal property of a certain Mr. S. King) vs. Vampires, George Clooney, Quentin Taratino at his anxious, disorganized killer best, and quite possibly the best speech in any movie. Ever. Delivered quite believably by Mr. Cheech Marin.
Quote:
Chet Pussy: All right! Pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in, pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister, we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! This is a pussy blowout! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy! We got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy! We got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy! We even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy, come on in pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in pussy lovers!
Chet Pussy: Attention pussy shoppers! Take advantage of our penny pussy sale! If you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price, you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny! Try and beat pussy for a penny! If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere, fuck it! (laughs)
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(That, and other memorable movie quotes available
here.)