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First, I don't think the spanking works. I wouldn't recommend it. Showing kids that violence is the answer to a problem is a bad idea. I was spanked a lot when I was a kid. What happened? Whenever someone did something that I thought was wrong, I would... well, wallop the holy hell out of them.
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that was my solution to my problems when i was young as well. and while i would like to puff out my chest and proudly announce "well, i was spanked all the time, and i turned out just fine!" the fact is that i think i turned out okay was _despite_ being spanked, and not _because_ of it. before my son was born, i felt that sometimes spanking had a place in discipline. the first time i saw him? out the window. im becoming of the opinion that for me, spanking=hitting and i could never hit him. thats not to say im going to criticize those who do choose to spank. as i said earlier, i have no clue the best way to discipline a child. no doubt my decision no to spank will irk my 'traditional' family. 'spare the rod and spoil the child', 'well you were spanked and look at how you turned out'. but really, who cares? hes my kid. maybe ill spoil him by not spanking him, but i think ill take that chance.
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If he does something not so great, the consequences will reflect that. In the case of grades in school, make him understand that he's only hurting himself. Tell him "Look, I'm not going to get fired because my son's not doing well in school. But, in the future, you're going to find that doing well opens you to a lot more opportunities." When he understands these things, he'll be much more thoughtful of the people around him and his actions.
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thats where it gets hard tho. as his father, its my duty to make sure he does well. i cant passively allow his grades to slip, all the while shaking my head and telling him hes going to regret it. at some point i have to step in, and maybe get angry. while i dont ever want to be too hard on him, i dont want to be too easy on him either. the consequences of that are just as bad. i cant allow my son to sabotage his future by doing stupid things. so while i think its best to stick to positive reinforcement, i dont think i can rule out saying 'look you did this and it sucks. this is why it sucks and this is why im taking your car away for 2 weeks'.
~james