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warch · 06-06-2002, 07:04 PM

Well Syc...How'd I miss this thread? One should learn not to breeze so quickly through the land of the Sycamore..

The Warchs are childfree by choice. We've been married now for 12 years (yikes time flies) and we both agreed that its not what we want together.

Curiously I was more prone to maternal instincts when I was single. I think I was craving the intimacy and love more than the parenthood. And since our relationship, maybe we parent each other- thats probably the case, the desire has gone. I do wonder at times if I will regret this decision, clock is ticking ya know...and I do have pressure from Mom,(but to please her is not reason enough to create a life!) And what I wonder most now is just missing that learning experience of love. But there are lots of children here to love, and who need to be. (and then I can go home to my quiet house and do my own thing- the selfish-in-a-good-self-aware-way reasoning....)And I do love kids,not being a parent allows me this nebulous place with kids, I relate to them as a kid cause that's the part I know.

Now Mr. Warch has no paternal desires at all. He had a hard childhood, was a very late child and his mother was ill and died early on. He was pretty much raised by his elderly dad, a saint, and he sees no way in hell to live up to that model of parenthood- give it all up, all your life for your kids. His father is dead now and he likes the loner, tiny family we have. To be honest, I think he doesnt have the emotional strength for that level of responsibilty. He also doesnt believe that he would be able to work as a musician, and would be pressured(he would guilt himself.) into a steady day job. So our family is two.

06-06-2002, 07:04 PM	#14
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	Well Syc...How'd I miss this thread? One should learn not to breeze so quickly through the land of the Sycamore.. The Warchs are childfree by choice. We've been married now for 12 years (yikes time flies) and we both agreed that its not what we want together. Curiously I was more prone to maternal instincts when I was single. I think I was craving the intimacy and love more than the parenthood. And since our relationship, maybe we parent each other- thats probably the case, the desire has gone. I do wonder at times if I will regret this decision, clock is ticking ya know...and I do have pressure from Mom,(but to please her is not reason enough to create a life!) And what I wonder most now is just missing that learning experience of love. But there are lots of children here to love, and who need to be. (and then I can go home to my quiet house and do my own thing- the selfish-in-a-good-self-aware-way reasoning....)And I do love kids,not being a parent allows me this nebulous place with kids, I relate to them as a kid cause that's the part I know. Now Mr. Warch has no paternal desires at all. He had a hard childhood, was a very late child and his mother was ill and died early on. He was pretty much raised by his elderly dad, a saint, and he sees no way in hell to live up to that model of parenthood- give it all up, all your life for your kids. His father is dead now and he likes the loner, tiny family we have. To be honest, I think he doesnt have the emotional strength for that level of responsibilty. He also doesnt believe that he would be able to work as a musician, and would be pressured(he would guilt himself.) into a steady day job. So our family is two.