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06-04-2002, 02:07 PM

I used to cook at Pizza Hut. It wasn't exactly challenging, so I had to get creative to keep myself from being bored.

So one time, I get this tickets that has a family cheese breadsticks and a hand tossed medium pepperoni pizza. I'm like "w0rd", and I toss the breadsticks in. Then I pull out a hand tossed, stretch it out, perforate that mother fucker like it ain't no thang, toss on some sauce, half cheese, bottom cheese for the pepperoni side and then go to work with the pepperoni.

Well, regular pepperoni is boring and tedious, as my sister can tell you. So I'm like "man, I need to get a bit creative with this one." So I toss down half pepperoni, then run into the back, drop my shorts and pinch a nice loaf in the dishwashing water. I put on some plastic gloves, pull that thing out, rinse it off (wouldn't want the people eating soap), and then plop it right in the middle of the pepperoni section. It's looking pretty good, so I toss it in the oven.

Jenni apparently thought so too, 'cause she cut it when it came out. Nikki didn't complain either and took it over to the guy. Well, he gets pissed off that I shit in his pizza. Like, hello, I didn't shit in it. I shit in the sink and then placed the turd on the pizza. Like he didn't know it was just a joke anyway. He starts getting all pissy and asking if I want to take it outside. I'm like "Man, I've got more pizzas to make, but if you just want a quick golden shower, I can accomodate." So then he starts getting really mad and he pulls out this .357 Magnum revolver. Big fuckin' thing. And he points it right at my head and pulls the trigger. Well, being that I've seen Penn and Teller do this a thousand times, I just clamp my teeth down really fast and, voila, bullet caught. I spit it out into my hand and I'm like "are you happy now, you silly little fuckadoodle?" He's like "yeah, that was fun." So he goes back and eats his poopy pizza.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share that, because I think it illustrates how customers can be really rude, but you can turn their frown upside down with a little bit of kindness and some well placed magic tricks.

06-04-2002, 02:07 PM	#9
dave Guest Posts: n/a	I used to cook at Pizza Hut. It wasn't exactly challenging, so I had to get creative to keep myself from being bored. So one time, I get this tickets that has a family cheese breadsticks and a hand tossed medium pepperoni pizza. I'm like "w0rd", and I toss the breadsticks in. Then I pull out a hand tossed, stretch it out, perforate that mother fucker like it ain't no thang, toss on some sauce, half cheese, bottom cheese for the pepperoni side and then go to work with the pepperoni. Well, regular pepperoni is boring and tedious, as my sister can tell you. So I'm like "man, I need to get a bit creative with this one." So I toss down half pepperoni, then run into the back, drop my shorts and pinch a nice loaf in the dishwashing water. I put on some plastic gloves, pull that thing out, rinse it off (wouldn't want the people eating soap), and then plop it right in the middle of the pepperoni section. It's looking pretty good, so I toss it in the oven. Jenni apparently thought so too, 'cause she cut it when it came out. Nikki didn't complain either and took it over to the guy. Well, he gets pissed off that I shit in his pizza. Like, hello, I didn't shit in it. I shit in the sink and then placed the turd on the pizza. Like he didn't know it was just a joke anyway. He starts getting all pissy and asking if I want to take it outside. I'm like "Man, I've got more pizzas to make, but if you just want a quick golden shower, I can accomodate." So then he starts getting really mad and he pulls out this .357 Magnum revolver. Big fuckin' thing. And he points it right at my head and pulls the trigger. Well, being that I've seen Penn and Teller do this a thousand times, I just clamp my teeth down really fast and, voila, bullet caught. I spit it out into my hand and I'm like "are you happy now, you silly little fuckadoodle?" He's like "yeah, that was fun." So he goes back and eats his poopy pizza. Anyway, I just thought I'd share that, because I think it illustrates how customers can be really rude, but you can turn their frown upside down with a little bit of kindness and some well placed magic tricks.