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He's not in love with you. What else do you need to know? We've all been there and it sucks but it is what it is. There is no answer.
The one who cares the least dictates the relationship so either stay along for the ride (he's driving) or have him drop you off somewhere. When you get to the point where you realize that no relationship is preferable to a relationship characterized by hopes that will never materialize then you will have the freedom you seek out relationships that offer what you need instead of the nauseating uncertainty that seems to characterize the relationships you have described here.
Out of curiosity, are there a number of guys that have been available to you that other women thought were decent guys but that you found hopelessly normal, uninteresting or predictably boring? I think some people suffer from a malady whereby they form attachments to people who aren't really capable of returning the affection - for these people, the idea of a relationship with someone who can offer them unconditional acceptance and love is just unappealing. I don't know if this describes you or not but if it does, its a problem that needs fixin.
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