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I'm happily married, so I sort of get to watch this conversation unfold with no skin in the game, but if I were a single guy looking, here's my $.02
Guys who are looking to find out "what a woman wants" are already missing the point. Same for women. The worst kind of relationships are those that are built on finding someone to fulfill your needs, or finding someone whose needs you can fulfill. That kind of codependant relationship can only end in disaster.
Start by knowing yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses, your goals and the steps to get to them. Then let that knowledge undergird your confidence in yourself, and in life. Not arrogance, just confidence that you know and are comfortable with who you are. Let that confidence develop into joy and expectation for the life ahead. Let that sort of joy prompt you to invest selflessly in relationships with other people, and enrich their lives.
Confidence, self-knowledge, selflessness, and joyful expectation are contagious and attractive. The describe the sort of people we all like to be around, and that includes both friends and lovers.
Stop trying to find the right person, and start being the right kind of person, and the right partner will come when the time is right.
But if she comes and her name is Gretchen and she's damn hot and from Los Angeles, back off, chump! That one's mine ...
-ml
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