[OnyxCougar]

Originally Posted by jaguar

I'd say it is pretty extreme, you shouldn't really know half of that to start with unless he wanted to tell you. Which I doubt.

He told me all of the information on his own, with no coersion.

My parents have practically never known who I was dating except on rare exceptions (special event comes up or it lasts a while), let alone beforehand or any kind of details.

Then you don't have that kind of relationship with your parents.

I've never known anyone to be quite so worried about the legal implications of getting someone pregnant before. The only people I know that would discuss their private lives in that much detail to their parents are those that have really, really unusually good relationships with them and it'd be more on a friend basis than parent.

He has told me that he likes me better as "cool mom" than as "bitch mom". I would say I function more on a friendship level, until the situation warrants "bitch mom" mode.

I doubt the kid is dumb or wants to get someone pregnant and frankly, I doubt she wants to be.

Let me put it this way. He straight up told me he doesn't care if she's playing him, or cheating on Alex. In my book, that makes him dumb, inexperienced, and horny, or all of the above. Don't rule out the dumb factor.

As for exclusivity, what are you going to do if she cheats? Call her parents and complain? What if your boy does?

That's their business. But if she is cheating on him, she's not welcome in my home. If he's cheating on her, the mistress so to speak isn't welcome in my home. It's still my home. As long as it's my home, I can control who is in it.

They are young adults, whether your son wants to see someone that is seeing someone else or not should be his choice not yours.

It *is* his choice. He's dating her now. All I did was limit one on one personal contact with her UNTIL THEY WERE DATING. If he dumps her today and sees another girl, he can't have her over on a one on one basis until they are dating. There is no hypocrisy or preferential treatment here. He will not act like he's dating someone in my home, or go over to a girls house one on one until he is dating them.

If he is getting screwed around you can tell him but really, that's where your responsibility ends. Beyond the getting-people-pregnant thing it really isn't any of your business.

Where he goes and who comes over *is* my business until I am no longer responsible for his actions. I don't understand why you don't get that.

Sometimes it's exclusive from the start, sometimes you date other people as well for a long time, sometimes it's just a fuckaround kind of thing, how he chooses who he spends time with isn't really your affair. What next, you're going to interview his friends? heck lots of kids move into share places at 17, seem to survive and not get anyone pregnant just fine.

That applied in the UK, where the kids graduate high school and drink at age 16. That's not the way it is here. He's still in high school for 2 more years and still depends on me for everything, in fact, turned down a job last week. Until he's age 18, the law says *I* am responsible for his wellbeing. Period.

Don't let your own crappy experiences mess him around. You seem to be using this whole legal angle as an excuse to moralise your son's love life and protect him from something that really, you can't.

No, he's dating Marcia now, (even tho I don't have any respect for her anymore) and that's fine. Now that they are dating, it's fine with me if they act like they are dating. The conditions for the rule have been met, so I'm back to "cool mom" for now.

Now, again, if I find out I've been lied to, the consequences will be severe, depending on who started the lie. Either way, it's over for that relationship, as long as he still lives with me. Once he's 18 and I'm not responsible for him anymore, I don't care, but as long as he lives in my home, he follows my rules.

Maybe it's a cultural thing, I don't know.

Maybe it's a parental thing.