[quote=Beestie]As you wish.
1. Ernest Borgnine, Michael Keaton, Brad Pitt: Screw one, sue one, marry one. Choose
Screw Brad, marry Michael, sue Ernest.
2. Fork in the road: Next 20 miles - no gas, free pot, no cops, lots of bikers and no turning back orrrrrr lots of cops, lots of gas, 5-star hotels, shoe stores and an Oprah book signing. Choose.
Anything to avoid Oprah. Scenario #1
3. Fork on the left, the right or just left of the breastbone.
[
not sure exactly what you mean... but I don't believe in forks. 
I eat with my toes.
4. Hollow points or mercury-filled hollow points?
I prefer rubber.
5. What month did you file your taxes? If April, what day?
March
6. Number of times you shouted out the wrong name.
387 ... I mean never.
7. One island, one raft for one person, two people. For whom do you pray?
I don't pray. 