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Old 04-07-2005, 10:26 AM   #23
Beestie
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Parts unknown.
Posts: 4,081
First, I would contact Lifegem.com and order their services.

I would see/call/email everyone I knew and tell them how much they meant to me and to live every day as though it were there last. Next, I would make a video for my kids for when they are older.

I'd hate myself for everything I did wrong and all the bad decisions I made. I would momentarily consider cheating death of its appointed time- leaving on my terms but decide against it. I would remember all the things my parents told me when I was a child - that's when parents tell you the stuff that really matters. I would struggle to finally accept my imperfections and forgive myself. I would forgive those I have not forgiven.

I would go to a church to pray and settle my account with my maker.

As evening approaches, I would take a deep breath, collect myself and regroup. I'd stop by Blockbuster, pick out a funny kids movie, order some pizza go home and have as much fun with my wife and kids as we could have. I'd gather some logs with my children and we'd build a fire together. There would be ice cream, candy, pillow fights and tears of laughter. I'd read my kids a book, let them know they are loved, tuck them in and put them to sleep. I'd wonder if I did enough for them and fight off the fear that I had not. I''ll wonder how much of me they will remember.

I would return alone to the fireplace, extinguish the lights and ponder the fading glow of the embers. As the fire loses its battle with the unquenchable darkness of night, the contrast from the joy of just a few moments earlier and of many evenings in the family room would be unbearable. Memories of decades past would seem like yesterday as past and present begin to compress into a few hours - and then a few minutes. Memories long lost would return with stunning clarity.

I'd spend the last hour with my wife - her hands will be the last thing I feel and her eyes will be the last thing I see.
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