Hang on when did I say I wasn't emotionally attached or that I wouldn't be distraught if it ended? Of course there are feelings 'invested' and I would rather be with him than anyone else. But if it did end - what am I going to do about it? Ok I'll cry for a bit and then get on with the next moment. If the next moment is filled with sadness so be it, at least I'll be being real.
The fat bird was an example. What do you mean 'why did he
allow her to flirt with him?' How would he stop her?! He didn't reciprocate, but he might have done if she was attractive, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Ok, I must say I wasn't so keen on this idea at first, and it did come from him, not me. But for every feeling off 'ooh it would hurt if he went off with someone else' was a huge feeling of relief 'I'm free do do whatever I want.' I'm not sure that I want a committed relationship - and I'm not being forced into one (for a change).
Don't forget I'm still early-20s and he's a bit older than me. I think he's aware I need to, lets say, live a bit more on my own before I think about settling down. Also, he has cheated on every single girlfriend he's had and I have cheated on every boyfriend. So I suppose we're just being honest about the possibility.
The relationship is not
based on some idelogical freedom. It's based on good conversations and a unique connection. There are emotions there too, but they don't dictate it. I find when one is too emotional it clouds your vision, and the most important thing to me is my clarity.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by mrnoodle
Does your not-so-significant other care if guys hump your leg in a bar?
|
He has the same initial reaction I would have - slight discomfort, a bit unsure, an emotional reaction. But he realises this is bullshit. Now, what I mean by that is sometimes we have feelings about someone we think are real but aren't. The jealousy you feel when a partner is with someone else is a proponent of the false 'love'. It is possible to think yourself into loving someone, 'oh, I grew to love him'. Well that is something I want to avoid. I only want a true relationship, and how can you be sure it's true unless you have utmost clarity? This is why I am trying to remove all rules, associations, irrelevant emotions and petty jealousy so I can see if there is an underlying true feeling there. I'm not sure at the moment, but hopefully it will become clear.