my idiot ex-husband. I met him when I was 15, he was 21. he was in the navy, stationed here in newport, but he was originally from the back woods of North Carolina. His daddy was a preacher. He was pretty screwed up. He cheated on me, didn't call when he said he would, he'd say he'd be by to pick me up at 9:00 but he'd never come, I tracked him down at a hotel, he was with another girl and he has a hickey on his neck. he drank 1-2 40 oz bottles of beer every day, he spent 100% of his income on hotel rooms, booze, rap cds and pimping his ride. For some reason, I LOOOOVED him. I really have bno idea why, now when I look back.
He worked in the ship store and he stole stuff, so they put him on restriction to the boat for 45 days. I used to walk 3 miles to visit him everday after school, and I saved the $3 a day my grandmother gave me for school lunch so I could take cabs to see him. Instead of eating healthy lunches, I was eating 99cent french fries every day.
I used a sunless tanning lotion on my face and it made me break out in hives. He told me not to come and visit him until my face cleared up. Then, he went on a SIX month cruise. I vowed to remain faithful. I sent him care packages, letters, tapes with my voice on them and our song in the background (I will always love you- Whitney Houston)...I didn't go to my senior prom, I was waiting for him. I taught myself how to play guitar and I wrote a countdown song "today is the (blank) of the month of (blank), just (blank) days to go now, (blank) days to go now...(blank) days till I can see my baby, (blank) days, I think I'm going crazy"... And ofcourse, the depression song "depression, you're ripping through my soul, depression rusted this heart of gold..."
Among many other very pitiful 3 and 4 chord songs...
So anyway, he wrote me that he didn't even want to be with me when he got back. I waited 6 months for him, he came back, got a hotel room at the Newport Marriot, which cost about $150 even 12 years ago. I sat in the hotel lobby and waited for him for like 6 hours. The door guys were like "why are you waiting for this jerk" so I told them it was because he had my stereo and I wanted it back, but the real reason was that I was a friggin IDIOT way too in love with someone who didn't deserve it...
Anyway, I kept chasing him, so he let me hang around in between banging this other girl, who was very beautiful...His ship got sent to Virginia 2 months before I graduated high school. My grandparents told me they couldn't afford to send me to college in virginia, but if I stayed here, they would give me a car and pay my tuition. What do I do? I got a summer job, saved all my money and bought dishes, towels, all crap for our new home together. I talked my grandfather into co-signing a $2000 loan so I could move, I talked my aunt and uncle into giving me a ride, and I moved to Virginia, payed the first month's rent and deposit, made him dinner...Then we decided it would be cheaper if we were married because he would get almost double the money for me, housing and food allowances, etc. So, we went and got a couple of 10 karat gold wedding rings on credit and I made the arrangements for the minister and his wife to come to our apartment and marry us. We decided not to tell anyone...The night we were supposed to get married at 6:00, he tells me at 5:30 that he doesn't want to marry me. I cried and cried. He was finally like "whatever, okay, let's just do it", so we did. THEN, we walked up the street to BURGER KING and had two 99 cent whoppers. The NEXT DAY, he left for a 2 month deployment. He left me with cabinets full of rice, beans and Ramen noodles, and a five-dollar bill. I had no friends, no job, no money.
Okay, I'm sick of reliving this crap. Let me summarize the rest. I got two jobs, then we got relocated to kingsville TX, he got drunk every day, I sat around all depressed and got pets (2 cats, 2 birds, 3 dogs) Maybe I was lonely? I couldn't find a job and I even applied at Burger King and McDonald's, but I wasn't Mexican and I didn't know anyone in that shit town...He treated me like shit, locked my cats in the bathroom closet and taped the door, threw hot water on my cat, made me keep one of my dogs chained outside because it was a "mutt", wouldn't help me feed the rottweiler he wanted, so I had to go sell all of my cd's to buy dog food and I had to return my birthday clothes to the store to bring her to the vet...I kept threatening to leave and he would just say "well, go on, then, go!" and after packing up everything I own three times, I finally talked my grandmother into paying my way back home, along with the rottweiler, chihuahua and cat. I had to sell the birds, find a home for the 2 cats and the other dog. I was 19...
I WAS STUPID! I had a very low self esteem, my mother always treated me like a worthles pain in the ass, and she was always with different boyfriends. I never had a stable father figure. Maybe that's why I was so stupid??
Either way, what a learning experience!! I stopped dating black guys after that, not because I'm prejudice, but just because they remind me of my ex-husband. Same reason I stopped dating white americans...I have one bad experience and I need something totally fresh and new. I found happiness (after a little trauma) with a nice Russian boy
He treats me nice.