[elf]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

I think that the less boundaries exist in relationships, the stronger they must be to survive. so, the survival of your relationship with your husband through the various phases of poligamy or poliamorousenessensteinerman attest to the strength of your bond.

See, I don't get that. The hubby and I have a strong relationship, yes... but nowadays you can pretty much consider ANY decade-old relationship 'strong'. We've got all the same bumps in the road as anyone else does. I suppose the only difficulty is that you have nothing to really base expectations on. Such as... let's say your spouse is due to leave town for a week on business. How do you feel about it? Generally, you know what's normal... Do you get jealous that they're travelling? Do you get lonley, are you anxious that they'll <i>meet</i> someone? It's kind of expected to feel these things and you know it's normal. That last one sure surprised me when the situation came up. I was truly thrilled that my hubby found a comfortable spot in an old friend's arms when he was away. BUT then I got a kind of weird jealous-thing when she sent him little gifts (CDs she had made up with songs on them that made him smile) after he had come home. Understandable or overreaction? I don't know. I ended up brushing that off as overreaction.

Originally Posted by lumberjim

I'm quite curious about the group dynamic, and wish we had the kind of friends that we were close enough to that that kind of thing could go on.....not for the sex thing so much as the friendship bond that must exist to support that. We have basically one couple friend that we get together with 2 or 3 evenings per month. they'll come over, and we'll all get drunk, so they sleep over....but in their own bedroom ... I guess it would be pretty cool to raise my kids among a mini villiage like I imagine from your description.

Group dynamics are fun. All six of us are very very different types of people:
The women are as follows: dom femme through and through (we'll call her 'J') the quasi-sub-esque type (me) and the mousy, can't assert authority over a six-year-old type ('R').
The menfolk pretty much compliment each respective wife. R's hubby (B) is veryvery forward and dominating, my hubby (P) is very dominating in certain situations, but laid back in others, and J's hubby (S) is able to shift his moods to pretty much suit hers. I don't know if all that makes sense to you... and I realize that I'm explaining the whole thing on a sex-based chart... but I think it's the easiest way to describe us all.
The common thread is gaming. We all are gamers, and we play everything from cards to D&D. The kids all pretty much get along, there's usually the four kids floating around (two belonging to me and P, the other two to S and J) though sometimes B's kids are around. His ex has them most of the time. I think we'd have to be over there a lot more often than we are to figure that the kids are gaining any village-rearing advantages. In any case, they're happy that we go down to visit every weekend, and oh, but you should hear the whinings of disappointment any time there's a cancellation...

Originally Posted by lumberjim

Do you run into any trouble with jealousy, elf?

Verrrry rarely. I used to think that I was kind of broken. Why didn't I feel jealous when he talked about this one or that one, or when he was away... ? I get more jealousy issues when he's got to be at work and I don't - if I'm not working, he should be with <i>meee!</i>. On the other hand, I feel good when he's off playing.

Originally Posted by lumberjim

When there IS sex, is it an all 6 at once in the same place thing, or do you pair or 'tri' off? or is it "hey, I'm horny, who wants some?" buffet kind of thing?

Heh. Always comes down to sex, eh? I happen to like sex, so I certainly think it does.
Basically anything goes. R needs a hat to wear whenever she's 'in the mood' because she will nevernever assert herself enough to initiate, and B and J are just about always in the mood. So sometimes there are pairings-off where couples have just shifted around, and sometimes there's a pile of people on the basement floor. Sometimes there's a smaller pile of people and there's a couple off elsewhere. Depends on lots of stuff. . .