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You have never driven unless you've driven a Ford Explorer with the clutch giving out and piled with about a thousand pounds of phone books. My Explorer responds like a hog in a mud hole under such situations - it's sluggish, lethargic, but has enough momentum to go into one hell of a slide if your attention wanders from the task of steering the thing for even a moment. I waddled out onto the interstate with my first load of books and found myself cruising along at 70 mph to my amazement. Good Explorer! Good girl! Alas, I didn't see my exit sign looming up ahead until too late, and I didn't dare slam on the breaks and swerve to the right hand lane with my heavy load (inertia will get you every time), so I ended up driving my heavily laden vehicle an extra 5 miles to the next exit ramp and then 5 miles back.
I was amazed when I finally pulled off I-25 at the correct exit. Only 5 years ago that particular stretch of land had been nothing but rolling prairie. Now it's a vigorous new cancer of a suburb complete with a King Soopers, a liquor store, and even a Starbucks with a convenient drive thru. Houses dotted the landscape like mushrooms, and each one was destined to recieve its very own Yellow Book courtesy of yours truely and a gimpy '92 Ford Explorer.
I pulled into the King Soopers parking lot to get my bearings and bag up the first load of books. The Yellow book comes in packs of four which must be broken open and then each repackaged into a nice litterbug yellow individual bag. I found a deserted part of the parking lot and began to throw 4 packs of books out of the Explorer. I estimate that each pack weighs 20 pounds - not all that much, but enough if you are a middle aged woman unused to manual labor and you have to deal with 120 packs for one route. I had about half the route -60 packs - in my Explorer. The best technique for breaking open the packs is to hit the pack smartly upon your car bumper. When executed properly, this technique will yield you two neat half packs of two books each, The books can then be removed and placed in their individual bags which are then slung back into thru tailgate of your car. With a little practice you can sling the books all the way to the front passenger's side.
I had been breaking open, bagging, and slinging books for about 20 minutes when a couple of kids on lunch break from some local construction crew pulled up in their truck to eat their King Sooper's deli sandwiches and watch the show. When I finally decided I had enough bagged books for my first run and got in behind the driver's seat to take off, one of the kids yelled, "Go get 'em, lady!" I gave them a peace sign as me and the Explorer wandered off in search of our first stops - on some god-forsaken street named Leather Chaps Drive
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