[busterb]

New drugs for women
D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go
to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression
by rendering preschoolers unconscious for
up to 6 hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and
loneliness by reminding you of how awful they
were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait
till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full
cups swallowed before an evening out increases
breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause
dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment
of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by
controlling road rage and the urge to flip off
other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for women. Increases
resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make
me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency, duration, and credit limit
of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who
can't remember your birthday, anniversary
or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone too eager to share their life stories with
total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides
the same irritation level as nagging him all
weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble
of doing it herself.