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hot_pastrami · 10-14-2004, 05:11 PM

Have trouble sleeping due to nervousness, paranoia, or bio-chemical terrorist attacks? Have a touch of agoraphobia? Do you hate getting out of bed to go to the bathroom? Do you enjoy the dark cozyness of a tomb? Then look no further for the bed of your dreams... presenting the Quantum Sleeper!

This is one tight piece of bedroom furniture, though you may have some trouble finding a matching dresser.

Some of the Features:

1.25" Polycarbonate Bulletproof Plating/Shielding
Bio-Chemical Filtered Ventilation
Rebreather
One way see through head cover (reflective mirror on 2 sides and front)
Safety Features (Proximity Sensor, O2 Sensor, Smoke Det., Motion Det. etc)
Emergency Communication system (Cellular, Short-wave Radio, CB etc)
Air/Water Tight Sealing
Battery Backup Power
Toiletry system
Optional CD/DVD player, Microwave and Refrigerator

For a high-tech bed, I think the list under "entertainment" is alarmingly short and misguided. But that's just me.

Missing features:

Coin-operated vibrating mode
The Clapper(tm) operated Barry White grooves
Retractable lava lamps
Cigarette dispenser

We should compile a list of these and other missing features, and mail them to the company.

10-14-2004, 05:11 PM	#1
hot_pastrami I am meaty Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Salt Lake City, UT Posts: 1,119	The bed of the future Have trouble sleeping due to nervousness, paranoia, or bio-chemical terrorist attacks? Have a touch of agoraphobia? Do you hate getting out of bed to go to the bathroom? Do you enjoy the dark cozyness of a tomb? Then look no further for the bed of your dreams... presenting the Quantum Sleeper! This is one tight piece of bedroom furniture, though you may have some trouble finding a matching dresser. Some of the Features: 1.25" Polycarbonate Bulletproof Plating/Shielding Bio-Chemical Filtered Ventilation Rebreather One way see through head cover (reflective mirror on 2 sides and front) Safety Features (Proximity Sensor, O2 Sensor, Smoke Det., Motion Det. etc) Emergency Communication system (Cellular, Short-wave Radio, CB etc) Air/Water Tight Sealing Battery Backup Power Toiletry system Optional CD/DVD player, Microwave and Refrigerator For a high-tech bed, I think the list under "entertainment" is alarmingly short and misguided. But that's just me. Missing features: Coin-operated vibrating mode The Clapper(tm) operated Barry White grooves Retractable lava lamps Cigarette dispenser We should compile a list of these and other missing features, and mail them to the company. __________________ Hot Pastrami!