[lookout123]

"Clarence, it's a wonderful life."


cheesy movie, or life lesson. we have no way of knowing how our lives have affected other lives that have affected other lives that...

it isn't just a cheesy sentiment, let's internalize it for a minute. we all know that our absence would change the lives of those that immediately surround us on a daily basis, but what about the people you only see occasionaly or even just once? have you ever been in an absolutely miserable place in life and had a brief interaction with someone that helped you turn things around? an event that to that other person isn't even worth remembering, but to you it made your day, week, or month? it helped you out in some immeasurable way.

now, turn it around. maybe, just maybe you have been that helpful person to someone else without knowing it.

i say this from experience. after my ex-wife left me i was (looking back on it now) really effed up, borderline suicidal. i absolutely couldn't accept failure at anything. i kept my normal happy go lucky shell on for everyone, but i was shutting down on the inside and had actually decided on what the easiest way to go would be, not so much for me, but for those i left behind. in the midst of that a female aquaintance asked me out to dinner because she was going through a rough breakup and wanted a night away from it all. i don't know what it was or if anything specific happened, but something clicked that night and i pulled my head out of my ass, and got it screwed on straight again. i only saw that individual a couple other times in passing, and never told her the effect the evening had had upon me, but i can honestly say that i would probably not be here, if she hadn't been down in the dumps and wanted a friend that evening. so somewhere out there a woman is walking around unaware of the fact that she saved a life... and now that years later i have a happy marriage and a son, she has by her actions that night allowed me to interact with countless others. hopefully i've been able to help someone else along the way too.

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edit: maybe it is too melodramatic, but maybe your life isn't about you. maybe you exist to be at a certain point in someone else's life so that they can be at a certain point in someone else's life so that some day they can invent the longer lasting lightbulb or something. even though i often forget it, i have to force myself that the world doesn't revolve around me.