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The critter is counting on you to do the right thing.
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Sorry about Matilda, BN, but be rational. She is
dependent on you for food, water and belly rubs, but she's not
depending on you for anything. She would have to have comprehension and I doubt she's pondering the meaning of life. I fully understand your not wanting her to suffer pain, but how do you know she's feeling anything other than unusual?
Fortunately it's not my call, it's yours. Sorry, man.