[MaggieL]

I approached having children with enormous trepidation. I was not at all certain I had the strength of character or maturity necessary to do justice to the role of being a parent. I was married for 13 years before taking a deep breath and deciding I would do my damnedest to rise to the responsibility. (Of course, it was only later that it became clear to me that *some* of the dissonance I was feeling had to do not with being a *parent* but with other only marginally related issues.)

But speaking as someone who considers themsleves a successful parent (one daughter now 19, another now 14), I can state an *emphatic* view that it is *not* a job for someone who does not come to the role with a level of comittment that can only be had from someone who is 100% a volunteer. The resentment that someone must feel who felt the role of parent was somehow *imposed* on them must be excruciating. While I have frequently considered whether having kids was a mistake, I have always concluded that it was the right decision for me and my spouse-at-the-time. Our daughters are a constant source of surprise, amazement and pride.

Also from personal expereience, if you haven't decided you're going to tackle this job by your middle 30's, give serrious thought to how old you will be when your kids hit college. Personally, I would not encourage anybody to have children any later in life than I did.

Ther are all kinds of other ways to make a contribution to the world besides having kids. If your gut tells you it's not for you, you should listen.