In a combat situation, there are several ways to neutralize an enemy.
High Altitude Bombing - Easy to go to sleep that night, for you never see the enemy closeup.
Sniping - Picking off an enemy at distance is a little harder, as you see the clothes he wears, the way he walks, the way his hands move when he talks, the tilt of his head.....
CQB - Close Quarters Battle - this involves "sweep and clear" objectives that don't give you time to focus on the fallen, just keeping youself and your team alive while finishing the job. You don't tend to remember faces of the dead. Grenades are your friends.
Hand To Hand - This is the most difficult to forget. You don't forget the smell of the enemy when you're this close. The sounds he makes at the moment of death WILL stay with you until you die. You just have to cope with it. Every night you will think of it, and every day you will try to forget it.
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.
I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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