The Cellar - View Single Post

DanaC · 07-14-2004, 05:14 PM

..........Gosh.....this place has changed some, did someone redecorate the cellar?
Hate having no internet access.....HATE HATE HATE....I wont bore you with the details and the whyfors?....I'll just reiterate that I HATE not having access to the internet....HATE HATE HATE. It's been over a month.....indeed its been nearly two! If I hadnt offered to babysit my two adorable ( though thankfully now abed) nieces I would not now be able to tell you just how much I hate not having my internet......So here I sit on my Bro's dial up, joint in one hand and mouse in t'other

There......thats the important stuff dealt with......Now for the fluffier stuff going on in my head .... *grins* hi all. Hows it been down here where the sun never shines?

Is it normal to talk to oneself? Is it a sign of depression to be fearful of everything? Is it possible to go quietly insane , cut adrift from the realities of cyber into a strange dreamlike world of walls and trees?

Perhaps the answers lie within the twisted cardboard roach at the end of my joint......or the pistachio shell cairn on my desk.....Perhaps I should pray....or wail and weep. Or sleep. Keep myself busy and drift into another night time vigil, another morning's waking and the breaking of promises I never intended to keep. To myself.

I just lit a cigarette. Rolled by my own fair hand. My brand of death sentence, white sleek and tipped. Lit, it rips past my throat. Singeing and bringing a measure of calm. I am becalmed. Afloat. A boat drifting into a lazy summer sea. I am nothing of what I was. I am no longer me. I dont smoke. I dont do the things I do. Nothing about me is true.

07-14-2004, 05:14 PM	#53
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	..........Gosh.....this place has changed some, did someone redecorate the cellar? Hate having no internet access.....HATE HATE HATE....I wont bore you with the details and the whyfors?....I'll just reiterate that I HATE not having access to the internet....HATE HATE HATE. It's been over a month.....indeed its been nearly two! If I hadnt offered to babysit my two adorable ( though thankfully now abed) nieces I would not now be able to tell you just how much I hate not having my internet......So here I sit on my Bro's dial up, joint in one hand and mouse in t'other There......thats the important stuff dealt with......Now for the fluffier stuff going on in my head .... grins hi all. Hows it been down here where the sun never shines? Is it normal to talk to oneself? Is it a sign of depression to be fearful of everything? Is it possible to go quietly insane , cut adrift from the realities of cyber into a strange dreamlike world of walls and trees? Perhaps the answers lie within the twisted cardboard roach at the end of my joint......or the pistachio shell cairn on my desk.....Perhaps I should pray....or wail and weep. Or sleep. Keep myself busy and drift into another night time vigil, another morning's waking and the breaking of promises I never intended to keep. To myself. I just lit a cigarette. Rolled by my own fair hand. My brand of death sentence, white sleek and tipped. Lit, it rips past my throat. Singeing and bringing a measure of calm. I am becalmed. Afloat. A boat drifting into a lazy summer sea. I am nothing of what I was. I am no longer me. I dont smoke. I dont do the things I do. Nothing about me is true.