[Cyber Wolf]

In the case, the only advice I can offer would be in conduct. Whatever she does, she needs to remember to not let emotions fly off the handle. The way it sounds is the ball is in her court but she's really at his mercy. How she handles her encounters with him and his lawyers (by phone, mail, however the contact is) could determine how her life will be affected for any number of years afterwards.

We haven't heard the ex's side of this at all, so there's no way we can know his state of mind. Perhaps he's concerned for the kid's well-being, especially since it's known that she'll run off across the world after a new boyfriend. And even if she returns with new man and settles in NC, that's still on the other end of the country. Joint custody would be pretty difficult. It'd be easier to argue for if she was going back to someplace in AZ. If he's the vindictive bastard type who's holding such a grudge that his primary goal is to ruin her life forever, then the LAST thing she wants to do is get him any more riled. Whatever his state of mind, when a divorce is happening, there's usually not much love left in the relationship if any so it'd be best to regard him professionally without being condescending. Crying, begging, yelling and demanding doesn't often sway a judge when there are so many other significant factors at stake.