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Jesus LJ, you let the wife get rid of the microwave? What's next, your balls?!
Look at poor wolf here, struggling mightily to find what you so callously discarded. You should be ashamed.
I too have a 15+ year old model, plate thing is all cracked, hasn't been cleaned in this century...only damn thing I own that works, and works right every time I need it.
Two words buddy....Jiffy Pop.
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If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it, yell "tornado!", and run like hell.
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