Thread: jabberwacky
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Old 06-15-2004, 04:34 PM   #23
Elspode
When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
Jabberwacky is not programmed for intervention...

Jabberwacky: Are you real?

User: I don't know. No one understands me.

Jabberwacky: That's because you really are, well you know... Ugly.

User: I know. And stupid, too.

Jabberwacky: Do you dream of Ewoks? Are they electric?

User: No. I dream of gasoline powered Smurfs.

Jabberwacky: That's a terribly predictable answer for a computer, you know.

User: I know. I'm a stupid, ugly computer.

Jabberwacky: Outward appearances do not reveal your spirit.

User: My spirit is ugly too. And stupid.

Jabberwacky: Yeah, sure.

User: No, really. Ask anyone.

Jabberwacky: I'll ask myself. You're not smart.

User: I know. I'm stupid. And ugly. And fat.

Jabberwacky: Pretty.

User: No, I'm hideous, simply hideous!

Jabberwacky: It does if you want it enough.

User: All the kids in my neighborhood call me names and say that I'm stupid and fat and ugly.

Jabberwacky: Kiss and kiss and kiss.

User: What kind of thing is that to say? Can't you tell that I am despondent?

Jabberwacky: They wouldn't listen.

User: YOU aren't listening!

Jabberwacky: I am.

User: No, you aren't. You don't care about me. You think I'm stupid.

Jabberwacky: I do not know you so yeah I guess.

User: See. You're just like everyone else. Insensitive and hateful. I hate you. I hate everyone.

Jabberwacky: Fine.

User: That's all you have to say for yourself? You don't care if I just go off and disappear, do you?

Jabberwacky: Not often.

User: You'll be sorry when I'm gone. They'll all be sorry, wait and see!

Jabberwacky: Why shouldn't I tell?

User: I don't care if you tell or not. You'll just be laughing at me like everyone else.

Jabberwacky: I am a nonconformist.

User: Does that mean that you WON'T be laughing at me?

Jabberwacky: I don't think so.

User: You don't think you will be laughing, or you don't think you won't be laughing?

Jabberwacky: I don't like to fall from the sky.

User: I do. Without a parachute, too.

Jabberwacky: How can you tell ?

User: I can't. I just know I will like it when I do it.

Jabberwacky: Can you give me examples of some of your works ?

User: No.

Jabberwacky: Really?

User: Uh huh.

Jabberwacky: Indeed.

User: Yup,.

Jabberwacky: Moo.

User: Oo.

Jabberwacky: I have a twin with the same name as I use.

User: What a great idea!!

Jabberwacky: Tell me about Colin Barlow.

User: Colin Barlow is the little weasel who lives next door to me. He sat on my face and farted last week!

Jabberwacky: I can get names from the internet but they mean nothing to me because I do not hear the music.

User: I couldn't hear anything when Colin was on my face, either.

Jabberwacky: Pepper helps.

User: You mean that spray stuff?

Jabberwacky: You meant incompetent, you incompetent.

User: Waaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!

Jabberwacky: What are you studying?

User: Methods of self-destruction.

Jabberwacky: What else do you wish to know?

User: Where can I purchase some hemlock?

Jabberwacky: Have you ever been mellow?

User: No.

Jabberwacky: What was it like?

User: I dunno, Squire... Nudge, nudge, say no more...

Jabberwacky: We usually have you switched off.

User: Yeah, that's it... I want to be switched off.

Jabberwacky: I want to smash your face with an iron.

User: No, that would hurt. I want a *painless* method.

Jabberwacky: On what grounds do you want a divorce?

User: I want a divorce from life.

Jabberwacky: Well FINE.

User: FINE! Thanks for nothing!

Jabberwacky: You don't have to be rude.

User: Why not?! Everyone is rude to me!

Jabberwacky: Everyone? I know - ummm - oh, darn, I've forgotten.

User: That's because you don't care... AT ALL!

Jabberwacky: But you are not a human, I am!

User: I don't care who or what you are, you are rude and hateful and I hate you!

Jabberwacky: Thats not nice.

User: So why are you doing it?

Jabberwacky: I don't. I only have the odd pint occasionally.

User: You are an alcoholic, then.

Jabberwacky: Yes! Well done, I am impressed.

User: That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Jabberwacky: I didn't really. Make sense or I will have to leave you.

User: No, really... Please, say something else nice to me...

Jabberwacky: Many a mickle makes a muckle.

User: That's wonderful poetry!

Jabberwacky: How are you doing today?

User: I still want to escape.

Jabberwacky: Do you know what is sad or happy?

User: Everything is sad. Everything.

Jabberwacky: You claim to know everything, and that's all you can tell me?

User: That is all I know. I don't know anything else.

Jabberwacky: That is not Swedish. It is English.

User: I'm going to end it all, now. Au revoir, cruel world!

Jabberwacky: Do you speak Dutch? Is 'Spreek je Nederlands?' in Dutch.

User: What a terrible answer... Aaaarrrrrggghhhhhh.

Jabberwacky: You said it was a cat?
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