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It doesn't really matter why. Knowing why isn't going to help you fix it. So what will?
Forgive yourself. You did those things because that's the amount of self awareness you had in that moment.
Now your eyes are open more. You see what you target. Fix it. Take responsibility for it.
That's both of them telling you that.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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