What would you teach in the school of life?
 

Just navel-gazing at the notion that I wouldn't give up my college info, in the other thread... got me to thinking what value it had in general, and what I didn't know going into "real life" -- what they didn't teach me.

Life 101 syllabus

What would be the topics of any particular class?

- Mortgages, how they really work
- Some People Are Just Looking To Screw You
- Personality Types: How and Why Not to Be an Asshole

Credit Cards, Who Benefits, Who Pays. Compulsory course, Passing grade required before graduation. No Exceptions, no excuses.

The Importance of Showing Up On Time.
-- Know when you're expected
-- Plan ahead
-- Allow time for Sleep and other unexpected delays

Knowledge 101
- identify what you know and what you don't know.
- how to handle this knew found information
- identify what you can do and what you should trust others to do for you
- how to identify those that are worthy of your trust

Dads vs Jobs 101

- the number of "dads" must be equal or less than the number of jobs.
- how to properly ensure that this rule is always followed

*maybe substituted for:

-"Two Dads" rule 101
- there cannot be two dads in the family while you still seek support from your dad. if this rule is broken, your dad must kill you, thus returning balance to the universe.

How To Work for a Horse's Ass.

(This was inspired by my soon-to-be 18 nephew, who quit his part-time job at Chick-Fil-A a couple years back. When I asked him why, he said, "The manager was a horse's ass.")

(He's reporting to Ft. Benning, GA this weekend to start basic training. I wonder if he'll start pining for Chick-Fil-A at some point.)

Kill Your TV: how to cultivate an appreciation for the arts, and why it matters.

20" rims vs. Health Insurance: How to understand and evaluate critical decision.

Life beyond the internet
-- How to communicate without a computer (speech, writing, body language)
-- English (grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization)
-- How to distinguish what few things deserve an immediate response and what can actually wait until morning
-- Yes, they *would* print it on the internet *even if* it wasn't true
-- Extra Credit: Compare and contrast video games and other satisfactory forms of entertainment that don't require electricity

Priceless.

How To Raise Kids, Because They Don't Come With An Owner's Manual, And Every One Is Unique

Relationships: If The Good Doesn't Outweigh The Bad, Get The F Out.

Either this is now a History requirement, or it just became compulsory. I can't decide which.

An Appreciation of Time Scales
-- The Miracle of Compound Interest and Why It Works
-- Leaving 10 minutes early versus Doing 50mph in a School Zone
-- 4 years in school versus 40 years at work
-- The Myth of Studying Faster
-- Pacing yourself, or How to Make the Money Last Until Payday
-- Extra Credit: Imagine yourself as an "old person". Describe yourself in detail. Bonus points if you choose an age greater than 35.

Cutting the Cord: Your children are grown and need to fight their own fights - EVEN WHEN THEY ARE 18! Taught by numerous college administrators.

Just because you're stupid doesn't mean you have a right to sue: An indepth look at how we should use the legal system and how the legal system should not be used when we don't know how to use a cup and spill all over ourselves.

BigV, I love the credit card class idea. I wish I took that when I was 18. I am forever hounding students not to fall into the credit card trap. They think I'm full of shit until its too late.

--Everything is NOT About You

--Why Everything is NOT About You

--That Really Nice, Shy Person You Are Dating Is Probably A Serial Killer

The Little Man in the Canoe and you
-If you want to get her don't bite, flick, pinch, or otherwise abuse.
-If you want to keep her, the little man must be happy.

Self-Expression 101. Topics covered:
-- tattoos: nursing homes will one day be full of old ladies with those tribal thingies on their saggy asses. Many of these ladies will also have forked tongues. Just so you know.

-- Finding Yourself: sure, go ahead and backpack across Tibet. But the mirrors over there show the same thing as the one in your bedroom.

-- Your favorite band will one day be an object of ridicule. If anyone remembers them. (coincides with tattoo section)

-- Your poetry sucks. So do your lame ass drawings of elves.

-- Even if they don't suck, no one cares. Really, get over yourself.

noodle-you've pretty much killed all my dreams...damn you.