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lookout123 09-20-2004 03:01 PM

Homeowner's Associations
 
WARNING: this is kind of a rant.

I am not particularly fond of HOAs but i did build my current home knowing that there was going to be one. i haven't had any trouble with them except for an occasional frustration when i find out about them ignoring violations for some people while absolutely harrassing some others. this has happened quite a bit since the last HOA elections put a whole new staff in place. their first action was to try and get everyone to petition to make us a gated community - we rejected it.

last week i got my normal bill for the HOA with a survey attached. we have a lot of common areas and a nice crushed granite walking trail that goes all around the neighborhood and up into the mountain. the survey was "should we seek legal action to prevent non-community members from walking our trails?" me being the even tempered individual that i am wrote back that if they had time to worry about who walked on our trails they might now have time to take notice of the guy on the corner who has 4 cars in the street, 2 in the driveway and a large rv in his side yard, when the rules clearly say no parking on the streets after 5 pm and no rv's are to be stored anywhere but the backyard. so in other words, do your damn jobs and quit worrying about who is walking on our rocks.

my house is the last one in the community and backs up to the mountain, state land and one non-community home who's owner is a friend of mine and an avid motocross type. next to his home are 5 acres of private property(he is co-owner) with nothing but dirt waiting for construction about 6 months out.

anyway, my wife and i were out front watching my 3 year old ride his quad last night. a couple of young guys pulled up to that 5 acres, unloaded their bikes and started riding around, jumping the dirtpiles and generally having a good time. on the far end of the nighborhood is another area of state land and they obviously wanted to go ride there too. they slowly drove their bikes up to my land and politely asked if they could cross and i told them it was ok. they stopped and talked to my son who was just in awe of them and they drove slowly down the street. about half a block down some guy and his wife, out walking their dogs stop them and next thing you know the guys start pushing their bikes back towards us hanging their heads. the couple and the guys got to me at the same time and i asked them if they ran out of gas (yes, me being a shit stirrer) the guys were polite, said no and walked away. the spoil sport guy walks out to the road to watch them load their bikes up. his wife walks up into my driveway with a smirk and starts going on about how her husband took care of them and how they can't be on our trails and streets. she just pissed me off so i went over to the riders and told them that the 5 acres is private, i know the owner and if they want to ride, they are very welcome to do so. they left anyway.

i walk up into my garage and the guy follows me and tells me how great he is for stopping them. i asked what kind of authority he had to stop a couple of guys innocently enjoying themselves. he puffed out his chest and announced "I'm the president of the HOA". he got extremely pissed when i told him that i'd heard enough and he'd better get off my land now. he started going on about his solemn duties and how he takes it serious. i tell him again to get off my property. his wife started getting all bitchy and i told her to get her husband AND her dogs off my property. she starts getting all hysterical about how i had better show some respect because her husband is a great man who cares for his community. not only is he the president of the HOA he is a cop. he again puffs up his chest as i stop for a moment looking all thoughtful, then i spoke:

me: Are you really a cop?

him: yes, 20+ years

me: then you had better get off my property now, because i really have no fucking use for you.

he turned beat red and stomped away.

i'll keep you posted on how many HOA and traffic violations i'm cited for in the coming months.

xoxoxoBruce 09-20-2004 03:19 PM

Ho boy, are you going to HoaELL in a handbasket. Wish I was closer to attend your "I show them" parties. :lol:

lookout123 09-20-2004 03:29 PM

sad thing is i was well aware what i was going to say before i opened my mouth. i can't say it slipped out. and today i actually thought for about 10 seconds whether or not to send in a HOA complaint on his house because we aren't allowed to have obnoxous campaign signs in our front yards... he has 4 of them.

i decided not to push my luck too far.

pretty funny though, the guy doesn't get his fill of pushing people around with his awtho- itah during the week so he takes a 2nd job so he can do it more.


EDIT: i'll have to do some digging, but i heard from a cop friend of mine that the courts just ruled against the HOAs. apparently the HOAs do not have the legal right to impose fines. i'll have to find out about that pretty soon probably.

redsonia 09-20-2004 03:56 PM

I think the only HOA guidelines we have are, "Do not discharge firearms in the neighborhood." :)

I am very happy we don't have any of those crazy rules and fines. That's one reason why we moved away from the city.

Happy Monkey 09-20-2004 04:21 PM

:thumbsup: HOAs are evil. Mine's OK, but it's different for condos. If I had a house, I'm certain the HOA would piss me off to no end.

lookout123 09-20-2004 04:42 PM

i'm a very neat person so my property doesn't draw negative attention and i'm generally a pretty easy going person so i don't get pissy about other properties so i don't have a problem with the HOA in and of itself - the morons who enjoy a chance to demonstrate their awtho-itah piss me off.

the good news is that i'm building another house so i will only be in this neighborhood about 8/9 months anyway.

Happy Monkey 09-20-2004 04:54 PM

Unfortunately, HOAs tend to attract three kinds of people: morons who want awtho-itah, people fed up with awtho-itah-weilding-morons, and single-issue-candidates. The morons are usually more persistent, and able to wear down the opposition.

lookout123 09-20-2004 05:01 PM

it's all good. i love my home but i originally built it for investment purposes anyway. so if i end up moving into the next one sooner, i'm ok with that.

it still cracks me up that the president of the HOA has the largest home with the largest lot with the most gawdy (sp?), overdone landscaping imagineable, and he drives the most ridiculous lifted H2 (chick car) and has the largest great danes i've ever seen... see a theme going here? and to top it all off he is a handlebar moustache -wearing cop. "you will respect my awtho-itah!"


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