office pranks
 

i need some fresh material

last good one i saw:

i work in a jeep dealership and two of the salesmen are always fucking with each other. Mike saves up his hole puncher confetti for like 3 months, and fills up Reed's umbrella one day.....doesn't the friggin owner grab it on his way out the door with some little advertising hottie? i almost swallowed my tongue! they were both covered with it! fortunately, the girl had a really good sense of humor about it, and no one got fired!

try this

I saw this on one of those chain e-mails: Replace the coffee in the coffee maker with decaf. Wait a week, then put regular back in.

Walk up to PC when the victim is away.
Take screen shot of thier working desktop, windows up etc...
Save screenshot as wall paper. Minimize all real windows. Hide task bar.

Enjoy.

Remember to move their task bar to some place where it wasn't (by dragging it there) and, if you really want it to work, adjust their monitor settings such that said edge is slightly off screen. That way, the auto-hide bar doesn't give it away.

I LIKE IT!

WHAT ABOUT THE DESKTOP ICONS?

That's the problem I ran across when I first did this back in 1998. So at the time, I wrote a little solution..

Basically, when run, the program took a screenshot of the workspace, opened the screenshot in a window as big as the screen and centered it, and used the Windows function to completely hide the task bar such that the Start menu could not be brought up at all. I might still have the app around here somewhere, but I would have to dig pretty deep and through many computers to find it.

dave, not many of my guys have computers, but the afforementioned visine victim does, so it might be worth it....but i think if i just do a screen shot of his desktop, and leave a program oversized on the screen, it will have the desired effect at least temporarily.....thanks! don't bother digging...

jim

If the victim has Windows XP, simply right click on the desktop, go to "Arrange Icons by" and then uncheck "Show Desktop Icons"

On all other OSes do this:


To get rid of the icons:

Go to their desktop.

Select all the icons
Move them into a corner of the screen.
Create a new file.
Move the new file into the opposite corner of the screen.
Select all the files.
Now move the lone file into the opposite corner (accross the screen) - This will move all the other icons OFF the visible area.

Delete the lone file you created and used to drag the files off the screen. (It should be the only visible file)

Things to make sure are off:

Auto arrange.
Allign to grid.

If those are on, the icons will not move off the screen.

To bring back the icons, simply turn one of these settings back on.


BTW: Keep in mind that there is a 99.9% probability that after much cursing the PC will get rebooted and the victim will lose unsaved work. Upon realizing that the PC hadn't actually crashed the said victim might hold you responsible for hours of lost work....so be nice and save all the opened stuff first.

A MUCH nastier thing to do would be to mess with his hosts file.

If he's got a favourite website that he seems to visit daily (Like maybe http://grouphug.us or www.cnn.com or whatever), you can make his browser go somewhere else every time he tries to visit one of those sites...like maybe something along the lines of The Worlds Most Annoying Webpage ( http://www.mostannoyingwebpage.com) or better yet tubgirl.com or goatse.cx...(Not linked for a reason)
To do this you need to resovle the IPs of these addresses and then enter them at the bottom of the hosts file in the format of:

IP Hostname

as in
123.123.123.123 www.cnn.com

All traffic to www.cnn.com will go to 123.123.123.123, where 123.... is whatever you want it to be.

The benifit of this is that the boss will probably have NO idea how to fix this and there is a good chance that the IT staff will also be totaly clueless. Better yet, if it's a site that he has no business going to at work in the first place, chances are that he won't tell anyone and just be misserable.

Harmless phone related pranks:

1) Get the pager number of the victim and enter the phone number of the closest phone he might answer the page with.

2) Tape the hookswitch down with clear tape then watch the victim's face when the phone keeps ringing as he says "hello"

And dont tell me I'm the only one that's ever used these.

here's a good answering machine prank:

get your ans mach ready to record

using the speaker phone if available, if not get ready to hold the ear piece next to the mic

call a number that requires that you dial a "1" first, but don't dial the 1. start recording, making sure to capture the tone"we're sorry, you must first dial a 1 when dialing that number. please hang up and try your number again"

this is your machine message

when someone calls, they will be told to dial a 1

then, they'll call with the 1 and get " we're sorry, it is not neccessary to dial a 1 when calling that number...please hang up and dial again"

i did this about a year ago, and my sister in law spent 30 minutes on the phone with the phone company, and was about to drive to my house when she remembered my cell #......

she's still pissed about it

Uh. You lost me. How does this work?

He gets a page, picks up a phone, calls number, and then picks up <b>that</b> phone? You worded it like only one phone was involved, and I just don't see how that's possible, since he would get a busy signal... so it sounds like you must mean what I wrote above, but... uh???

i reached for my hand but it was already there
-4 non blondes

To annoy those with pagers ...

Keep the phone numbers for Homosexuals Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous handy.