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-   -   My Poetry (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=3463)

Odd_Bloke 05-29-2003 08:24 PM

My Poetry
 
I'm bored, so I thought I'd subject y'all to some of my poetry. Please tell me what you think of it etc. and feel free to rip it to shreds. Remember, you are probably on the other side of the pond to me. :D

I Think

I know how I feel.
This life is not unreal.
I know myself,
Without a doubt.
I think.

My love for you is true,
I'll never love another.
I could never,
With my undying love for you.
I think.

You make me feel giddy,
Happy and spinning,
I love to be around you,
And hate to be separate.
I think.

But this worrying is pointless.
I know you.
I know myself.
I know me.
I think.

I think,
And yet thoughts don't come.
I'm confused.
I don't know what I know.

I think.

xoxoxoBruce 05-29-2003 08:54 PM

Quote:

subject y'all to some of my poetry.
Y'all? Y'ALL?!?! You must be from southern England. :D

Odd_Bloke 05-29-2003 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce

Y'all? Y'ALL?!?! You must be from southern England. :D

Nah, all these Yanks are having an effect on me. :p

elSicomoro 05-29-2003 10:13 PM

Good poem.

If you thought it funny that OB typed "y'all," imagine him saying it. :D

zippyt 06-03-2003 05:32 PM

He did use it properly though,, ya'll is plural not singlur like most of you YANKIES tend to think :D

Happy Monkey 06-04-2003 10:26 AM

That's YANKEEs
 
Apparently in Yankeeish, the plural of y'all is all y'all.

xoxoxoBruce 06-04-2003 05:55 PM

Quote:

He did use it properly though,, ya'll is plural not singlur like most of you YANKIES tend to think
Whoa nellie. Wait one damn minute here. Let's get this shit straight.
1- If you are in Europe, Americans are Yanks not Yankies(sp)
2- If you are in the USA; Northerners are Yankees.
Southerners are Rebels or Rebs.
3- Rebs say y'all.

Class dismissed.:D

zippyt 06-04-2003 09:33 PM

Y'all is the same as youz'guys and yennz' ,
and wisconsin is notheing more than northern Alabama,,,
Folks are the same all over no matter how you speak ,, FACT !!!

wolf 06-05-2003 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by zippyt

and wisconsin is notheing more than northern Alabama,,,

But with fewer guns and nowhere near the amounts of ice tea and mint juleps.

Quote:

Folks are the same all over no matter how you speak ,, FACT !!!
Granted.

That Guy 06-05-2003 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by zippyt
Y'all is the same as youz'guys and yennz' ,
and wisconsin is notheing more than northern Alabama,,,
Folks are the same all over no matter how you speak ,, FACT !!!

What about the manner in which one types or writes?

Zippyt, if you were a superhero, I'd call you the Comma-nicator. And you would have the power to pause (not stop) time.

Torrere 06-05-2003 05:33 PM

Ooh! This is a fun poem. I like it.

Odd_Bloke 06-05-2003 06:18 PM

As people aren't really talking about the poem anymore, I'll post another one. I'd appreciate some poetic feedback on this rather than just random discussion. :D

The Quiet One

I'm the quiet one,
I just get ignored.
I'm the good one,
I'm not interesting enough to draw attention.

I'm the normal one,
I can't stand out.
I'm the tidy one,
I can't be nagged at.

Everyday I'm just passed by.
Everyday I just get pats on the back,
And a belated "Well done",
Everyday the same.

But there's more to me,
Than the quiet one,
More than just a boring face.
Look at me everybody!

I can slit my wrists!

I'm not the quiet one anymore,
I scream out in pain.
I feel faint and fall to the floor.
I'm the quiet one no more.

No more to be ignored,
No more to be passed over,
Well, maybe just once more.
I'll always be remembered,

As the quiet one who went wrong.

xoxoxoBruce 06-05-2003 06:31 PM

Quote:

No more to be passed over,
Except by the lawnmower.

wolf 06-06-2003 01:26 AM

I liked it O_B.

Representative of the experiences of a lot of folks I see. Strong emotional content ... really captures the moment(s).


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