The Cellar - Suicide

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- - Suicide (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=34158)

You whippersnappers have is so easy these days. :crone:
Back in the day folks worked at it, imagination, and true grit.

Quote:

the New Ulm [Minn.] Weekly Review, 1886, on a recent surge in U.S. suicides:
The reasons assigned for some of the suicides are silly in the extreme, and some of the methods employed uniquely horrible. One woman killed herself because her mother did, and another because she had a pimple on her nose. … One young woman killed herself because her parents would not allow her to become a Mormon, and a New Yorker shot himself because he hadn’t a nickel to put in the collection box at church. … Several persons died in incalculable agony by jumping into fiery furnaces, and others saturated their clothing with kerosene oil and set it on fire. Still others clumsily sought death by crawling back and forth through barbed-wire fences, entailing great suffering, until they died from exhaustion, and others drove spikes through their brains. Shooting was the most popular method employed, with poison a good second. The most unique example was that of a man who impaled himself on his wooden leg.

I'd say the reasons for suicides today are just as dumb, looking at them from the outside. But of course to the suicider?... suicideie?... victim, the reason is the most important thing in the world. Plus we don't know how many fatal hold-my-beer-and-watch-this stunts are actually suicides.
It's easy and common to dismiss them(both the reason if known, and person) as crazy. But I'd say anyone who has not considered suicide and dismissed it, is the crazy one.
It's more difficult to feel, I-don't-approve-but-I-understand. All the he/she coulda, shoulda, wouldas in the world are moot once they're gone.
So the time to discuss it is now, before they decide to do it. You may suspect someone is on the edge, but maybe not, so don't pass up talking about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce (Post 1028771)

...So the time to discuss it is now, before they decide to do it. You may suspect someone is on the edge, but maybe not, so don't pass up talking about it.

We had a family member suicide a few years back.

They sent me an e-mail a couple days before but it was so strange that I didn't understand it. I replied as one would under normal circumstances, trying to be supportive but not truly understanding where they were emotionally.

This person was healthy, had money, a great home, great family life. Not a bad position to be in for almost everyone that I know. There was no scandal or stress or anything that I could see that might be affecting her.

She was a bit clingy if I can say that without making her sound creepy. But we were good friends for almost all my life. She had been a part of my life since I was born.

She did leave a note that completely shocked me and made me quite sad.

She said that she felt alone because she didn't have children of her own. That her step kids were great but she just didn't have the bond that me and my mom had. She also stayed in contact with my mom every few days. It was strangely positive. They were great friends despite having completely different lives and living in completely different places.

My mom died 14 years before she suicided. She wrote with heartbreaking clarity that since my mom died her life was empty. That she had tried to replace that relationship with a relationship with me. That we had the long history and family bond but it just wasn't the same. Not the same as if she might have had her own child.

And that she just couldn't take it any more. That she had tried medication and counselling and hobbies and travel but she just couldn't fill the void. She couldn't heal the wound.

I didn't understand the role that I played in this and I suppose looking back I should have.

I don't blame myself but my ear is now much more tuned to hearing what is not so much said.

Now thinking about it, there was a time that I wish I could go back to.

If I had just hugged my aunt at this one point of her sadness, maybe things would have been different.

She had just described something that I considered trivial and unrelated but she was crying about it.

I just don't get huggy very often but maybe it would have helped.

Don't you start blaming you.

We don't know what lies inside other heads. And could have should have is fruitless at best, harmful at worst.

She dwelt in the past. Stay present.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim (Post 1028906)

...She dwelt in the past. Stay present.

I'm present to watch the next episode of "Hillary, how the fuck could you have lost a rigged election? And, what the fuck are we going to do to reverse it?" :lol: :corn:

Anyway...

Suicide. Can be tricky to read people thinking of checking out.

And their reasons. If you are able to get them to open up be very sensitive. May not be something that you understand fully but be supportive regardless.

Suicide rates among whites are about 3 times higher than blacks and Latinos.
I wonder if Blacks and Latinos have lower expectations and expect setbacks?

1999 to 2017, U.S. suicide rates went up 45% for men and 62% for women, age 45 to 64, topping the 65+ group.
Maybe tied to their job opportunities drying up, I read the rate is highest with Northeast fishermen and Midwest farmers.
Could be disappointment with their whippersnapper hipster children. http://cellar.org/2015/shades.gif

In case you want it for a friend...

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce (Post 1028916)

Could be disappointment with their whippersnapper hipster children.

Or other ppl's whippersnapper hipster children.

The world is a steep downhill roller coaster to hell.

Here, have a bass amp.

If I take out a contract with a hitman on myself...

Would that still be suicide?