Six was all we could afford ...
 

We all know the "infinite number of monkeys" statement ... well somebody managed to get a grant to do the research.

Of course it appears that they didn't have enough monkeys to get a really good sample.

(I wonder how the heck I can get a grant to test something ludicrus like this ... I think somebody already did the buttered cat experiment. There must be some cliche left ...)

My first response to a strange problem is to urinate on it, and bash it with rocks. Nothing strange there. :D

The headline at the top says "War In Iraq"
This was an obviously a story planted by the OSS to distract us from their covert actions in Sulawisi.
Everyone, except complete idiots, know Paignton Zoo is really a secret biological weapons research facility run in conjuncion with the Falon Gong.
So that proves conclusively that George W Bush has used his father's conections in the CIA to make you unconstintutionally pay personal income taxes.
While you're distracted with 1040 forms the KBG and Osama are using the evidence that crested macaques are primarily left handed to sell north slope oil leases to Isreal.
And don't even get me started on the North Korean conection to global warming or how SARS was caused by South African Diamond buyers.
WAKE UP AMERICA! There's monkey business going on.

I ran the output through a few decryption algorithms and found the following embedded in the text.

The Plan:

1) Kill humans :rattat:
2) Steal Bananas
3) Escape to France and wait for Caesar to lead revolt against humans.

:eek:

     I thought that with the advent of the internet we pretty much knew what would happen if you gave a million monkeys a million computers...
     People are still pretty much animals. For those who think I'm being cynical, go to any search engine and type in the word "Porn". Oh, and make sure you check every link. :angel:

OK.......Now what?

     Hey, having checked them all previously doesn't count!

Type in PRON and start all over.;)
Someone told me that.
I don't know what it means.
I don't remember who told me.
I know nothing.

pr0n - you need to switch the o to a zero.

This is a cultural thing unique to the web: it developed as a way to get around filters and such, and lives on because it was so bizarre and interesting as to stick in people's heads.

Similar to "All your base"

Getting monkeys and giving them computers was not necessary. We already know what happens when a million monkeys gain access to computers and get on line- it's called Usenet.

This was stupid. There was only one computer, so the monkeys naturally fought over it. There should have been six. Then, the number of letters the monkeys were using started increasing, and just as the monkeys got interested, they terminated the experiment. Most importantly, 6 monkeys is roughly 0% of infinity, so this experiment was completely useless.

No it's not. The researchers can now apply for additional funding to refine their hypothesis and try again.

Give them time.

Couple more iterations and they'll have maybe enough monkeys to generate dirty limericks. (which I think monkeys would like more than shakespeare anyway).

Heck, all they really have to do is check the basement at Harlequin, Inc. They've had monkeys typing there for years.