Lies, Damned Lies and Brussels Sprouts.
 

Harrumph, Brussels Sprouts. They gave them a cutesy name “sprouts”, which emotionally rhymes with fairies, cherubs, and moonbeams.

http://cellar.org/2015/sprouts1.jpg
The mad men even drew cute little cartoon characters to hide the truth.

Do you want to know the truth?
Can you handle the truth?
Well, here’s the truth!

http://cellar.org/2015/sprouts.jpg

They aren’t sprouts, they’re cankers, they’re goiters, THEY ARE TUMORS!

Cool! I never knew they grew like that.

And they are delicious! Especially roasted.

Roasted? That's crazy talk, lady, my mother and grandmother be doin' about 50 rpm hearing that heresy.
Boiled, only boiled, and the longer the better.

Boiled is okay as long as you cut 'em in half and parboil (lid off) only until barely tender. Then add whatever yummy seasoning you want - a bit of evoo, a little butter, a little sriracha ... or eat them as is. Just don't (ahem, sorry, mothers and grandmothers everywhere) boil 'em to death and release all those bitter chemicals. Keep them sweet. ;)

Parboil? Season? More crazy talk.
Boil 'em whole. Put 'em on and go run your errands, pick up the kids, maybe a pedicure.
Then after you put the groceries away and had a cool drink or cuppa, take 'em off the stove and let 'em sit till supper time.
Only then, drain off the water and maybe a little salt & pepper.

They are a staple of vegetable gardens and allotments here, so I've known how they grow as long as I've known how they taste.
I prefer them au naturel. As in, leave the damn things growing and don't eat them.

I should give them another taste, given my palate has shifted over the years.
I remember being talked into eating cabbage as a child, after I'd helped pick, cut and cook it (although see Bruce's sprouts method of cooking!). I was so hopeful. BLEURGH! I spat it out. Got rightfully told off for that.
The point being I love me some cabbage now.

I still can't abide cauliflower unless I can't taste it though. And cauliflower cheese is just a waste of cheese.
I'll have piccalilli or aloo gobi for example. In which case I may as well stick with eating more natural forms of the vegetable I genuinely like. Don't listen to Limey, it is most vegetables. Just not necessarily the ones people grow in their vegetable gardens or allotments here!

http://cellar.org/2006/gardeng3.jpg

From the Garden 2006 thread, at a point in the end of summer when they were halfway ready; it seems like only yesterday we were tasting their sweet nutty freshness after the first frost.

:lol2:

Sauteed with butter and lots of garlic ...

or maybe with some bacon ...

I was scarred as a child because of brussel sprouts and how utterly disgusting they were. But I've come to like them roasted with a little oil coating and some savory seasoning. I came around to asparagus and broccoli even sooner. Asparagus is good steamed but even better grilled/roasted with the oil and salt treatment. Broccoli is good steamed.

All three of those veggies were boiled to mush and forced on me as a child. When I think back to how much I hated them then and the fact that I enjoy them now, it legitimately fills me with pride that I was open minded enough to try them again.

I didn't know how they grew until the other day when that newbie (who I'm sure is a spammer, but I didn't ban yet) asked about them in another thread. It made me actually look up what they are and how they grow as I was trying to figure out how to translate them into Urdu.

I may have to try them cooked properly. They've always tasted like old piss smells to me. My sister actually missed Halloween one year because she threw hers in the trash and lied about it.

bad juju

They are stinky scary smelly. Not worth a food moniker. When did way too many ways to try to make them edible become a brave endeavor? ;)

No, no, no, folks. Cut in half, placed face-down with a little oil, in a well-seasoned cast iron skillet. Wait until they start to burn a little, let that enhanced flavor steam upward through the grain of the cut. After a while stir around a little to finish them off. They should be rich, savory, a little crunchy on the burnt edge, and everywhere else just softened up enough that they don't hurt your teeth to chew (but still fresh enough to give some resistance). And don't let them tell you kids don't like these things--they just have to be prepared by a sensible person.