Thinking about it
 

Is it possible to have a meaningful relationship with a beautiful woman, who is almost 21? Consider that she is initiating the relationship where the desired goal is children. So many things race through my mind. Should a person be concerned if he had prior relationships with some of her stepmother and grandmother, yet both seem very supportive of said relationship?? :blush:

Should one follow the heart??

do your own thing , buuuuut

Sometimes I can't tell if you're joking or not, Sarge. But the rule is and always has been, "half your age, plus seven." So unless you're 26, that's a no.

She wants you to adopt her?

Not unless you're between 18-26.

Hmmm, so I can expect this won't be a blessed union by the folks here. ok. I seriously thought age didn't matter as long as the heart was true.

Sarge, please consider ... you've been down this road before. You have experience that has shown you that age does matter, despite the fact that your heart was true. You had a daughter with a beautiful young woman who was around the age of the woman you are currently involved with, and it's been difficult and painful for you to even have access to your child. Why would you want to repeat the experience? And what about the life (lives) of the child(ren) who will be caught in the middle?

The heart is important but not the only factor when other lives are involved.

I only think about all the trouble you have had due to the last relationship you had with a younger woman Sarge.

Why not keep to yourself, away from this woman completely for a month or so, and then see if you still feel the same.

Remember, you are pretty vulnerable emotionally at the moment. Don't mistake love for affection or vice versa. Could be that its a little more or less than what you think.

Most of all, just remember you have always been supported here. Dont take possibly wise counsel as an offence when it's not meant to be so. Xx

♪ ♫...If you gotta crush♪ ♫
♪ ♫(Don't beat about the bush)♪ ♫
♪ ♫When I gotta crush♪ ♫
♪ ♫Run run away...♪ ♫

♪ ♫...Oh now can't you wait♪ ♫
♪ ♫(Love don't come on a plate)♪ ♫
♪ ♫Oh now can't you wait♪ ♫
♪ ♫Run run away...♪ ♫

~Run Run Away by Slade

Sarge if it feels right, truly right, go for it.

But, please, make sure you ask yourself the hard questions here.


21?? Have a little fun anyway!

:jig:

Why not have a relationship?

I don't know so, so much about the situation; my thoughts are thus ill-informed. However, Sarge, what do YOU want from such a relationship? If you know, then share that with her. If they match what she wants, then why the hell not? Of course, knowing what one wants in a relationship is one of life's most difficult undertakings. There are lots of areas, lots of pieces and parties, changing feelings; that stuff is difficult to pin down, much less articulate.

But if you can, then by all means, share it. With her I mean, though I'd be interested too, if you want to share here. The "rules" described above are easy to express and evaluate, but that doesn't make them appropriate to apply to you or your situation.

My feelings about relationships have changed considerably since I was a youngster. There's no doubt I'm a better partner now that I've ever been, and much of that improvement is due to a better understanding I have about myself. Self-knowledge is hard, self-honesty is hard. But if you do know, and she knows, and they're compatible, I'd say that's a very good start.

Eh hem ... "half your age, plus FIVE."

Sarge - I've been with my GF for 9 years now so IMO it totally depends on the people involved.
The kid thing is a HUGE issue (redflag) for me. Are you seriously looking to father and support more children - AGAIN?!?!?!? Call me crazy, but .... I'd :bolt:

Hey, no judgment here, I myself was the lower half of a rule-breaking relationship in my teens... but Sarge would still be breaking the rule even if it were plus-five (which it's not, you cradle-robber. :))

Ha! Well that "rule" doesn't work as one ages. The ratios change.
At one point I think we were breaking the rule, but now its OK ... or maybe it was the other way around.

Speaking of which... here is us from our trip to Punta Cana in June.

Well sure, the whole point is the ratio changes, because age matters less the older you are. 33 and 16? Definitely creepy. 67 and 50? Still 17 years apart, but infinitely less weird.

You two look like you had a lot of fun! It's good to see you around again. How's Dan?