Cellar Resolution: Expansion of the Character Limit on Titles
 

Cellar Resolution 1 (or insert appropriate number here)

As a member/delegate to the Cellar, I hereby ask the Cellar Security Council to expand the character limit on titles from 25 to at least 45. I hereby submit to the Security Council that:

--One of the built-in titles is approximately 43 characters (Knight of the Oval-Shaped Conference Table)

--My creativity has been stymied by this system, as I am constantly forced to reconfigure my clever titles. Many of these original titles were in the 30-40 character range, but had to be trimmed to conform to the rigid 25 character limit.

--I have been a faithful poster and contributor to this community for over 2 years, and only submit this resolution in order to better the community.

Submitted to the Cellar Security Council on this day, the 7th of March 2003 in the City and County of Philadelphia, Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

Sycamore
Self-proclaimed Oddball
Head Nigga in Charge, The Sycamore Manifestos
Member/delegate to Cellar Mk V

The resolution has been introduced, the next step is the beginning of debate.

I will make this happen with or without the approval of the Cellar Security Council. Those that oppose are still friends. But this title limit is a cancer...and the Cellar is playing a charade with us on this. We are approaching the end of diplomacy, therefore, the CSC has until March 17 to act on this.

Whoa...wha? Oh...sorry...I felt some sort of force controlling me there for a minute. Carry on.

We have considered this demand, and we will now increase the size of the user title by one character.

We expect that this will indicate a "promising new willlingness" to consider the matter of title sizes.

What we are looking for here is expansion. We don't want to go to war. But if we have to, there's going to be a regime change.

We assure you that you do not want to test our biological weaponry, the precursor chemicals of which include Molson Export, the highest grade available from our Canadian partners.

We also have nerve agents from British Columbia.

Our intelligence sources say that you are lying. You have material known as Molson XXX, which is apparently available at the US-Canadian border. Its alcohol content is over 7%...well above the limit set after the previous war.

It's time to expand. If you will not expand the character limit, we will lead a coalition into the Cellar to expand the limit. It's time to expand. There is no other choice. Husshepps must expand.

Our response will be by courier. Look for a basic black briefcase with non-metallic handle and clasps at a nearby street corner. Do not touch it directly. Allah'ho ackbar.

(Actually I've just upped the limit)

I would propose that the limit be based on your waist size in inches... mine's 38

In that case, Syc, looks like you get your wish!




haw haw haw

Watch out friend, some of our nerves are going shot right now!

*smack!*

Actually, it's right about at my waist size...good deal!

What? No more negotiations? This is an outrage!! The Republic of Juju will not stand for The Sycamore throwing his weight around as such. We urge the council to consider a 3-day extension before any rash decisions are made.

That's it bitch! I'm cutting off all aid to your country and am expelling your diplomatic representative from the Constitutional Monarchy of Sycamoreland. All your bank accounts are now frozen. Besides, you have a population boom to deal with back home, and I won't think twice about a pre-emptive strike. Your people aren't smart, but you have technology that I would like to have as my own.

Besides, 3S (that's the Sycamoreland Security Service...Sycamoreland's version of the NSA) has got the CSC all taken care of...we have every move, every conversation, every empty box of Krispy Kremes under intense surveillance.

Don't think we don't have the same in your own land...

The Extremely Independent Republic of Wolfslovakia feels that creative expression on The Cellar is extremely limited by the inability to select user icons or avatars, and also feels that the downtrodden peoples need more emoticons, which would be in our grasp but for the greed of the Constitutional Monarchy of Sycamoreland to flout its level conspicuous consumption by demanding a charlength equal to that of it's representative's capacious waistband.