Shhh
 

A work in progress. I've been playing with this one for months. I had in mind a third verse, but then didn't like said third verse, so deleted it.

Am wondering if it actually needs further verses, or works better as a two verse poem. Continuing it seemed to lose the frozen moment feeling I was going for.

Anyways. Here it is:

Shhh

Shhhh...
Don’t make a sound,
in the night,
in the dark,
of the early hours.
Waiting for noises,
to shatter,
and resolve themselves.

A footfall,
or a tried door,
or a car in the distance,
going anywhere.
With starlight above them,
they’re travelling,
taking in roads like a necklace.
Pearls over hillside.

That's nice

It has the sort of the feeling I get when I see a satellite go over.

Maybe just a diminishing shh triplet to close it?
Possibly repeat the 1st 3 lines

Thanks:)

Lj, that's a good idea. I'll mull it over.

...
With starlight above them,
they’re travelling,
taking in roads like a necklace.
Pearls over hillside,
Strands into twilight.
Shhhh....

Oh that's lovely!

Fairy dust lingers,
Like chicken fingers,
Only there is no singer,
Cause blind people can't see,
So the telling of the forest is nice,
But what of the deep blue sea??
Shall we believe that IBM cheated?
And the toons got trapped inside,
And what of the opponents,
On the Red Rabbit line,
The Spirit keeps Manifesting,
But then declined,
Derailed by the force of the storms,
And the Super Heated Gulf.
Your Guess is as Good as Mine,
So I'm ma just lead by example,
and live for the future hope of Love,
And that would be a true Gift from above.

shave and a hair cut to you....

and the bombs on eight//

And I just saw Death Under Armor Sneaking Away...

A poem by sexobon ...
 

Shhh...

No. You Shhh!

Attachment 45474

am I aloud to laugh??

Well played, JBK.

Not you, that's reserved for those who'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.