what every (democratic) child wants
 

Yea, its me again. You've heard of the tickle me Elmoe doll? This is the prototype for the "lie-to-me-al-gore" doll. The marketting people say the preproduction orders have already topped 6. It has three pre-recorded messages including "there's no controlling legal authority, I initiated the investigation into the creation of the internet, and Do you have a light ?" The cost of the production doll will be $12 if your daddy is an hourly worker and $25 if he's a salary white collar evil capitalist.

Where do I send my $12? Do you need proof that my old man works by the hour?

(al lights up a big cuban cigar)

Thats a good question. I guess if the last name of the addressee is Bush or Cheney, Corzine or burger-builder, you pay the $25 elite price.

If you have an uninspiring name like Sycamore, I'll assume you arent some high and mighty asshead and give you the discount price. :)

Listen to Rush Limballs show for the order phone number (I have a deal worked out with him)

Syc, you're going to love having one of these things. I got in on an early deal and got the companion "Watch Over Me Tipper" doll, which includes a universal infrared remote control that drops out the volume on my stereo every time a naughty lyric comes on AND erases the offending material from the CD. I've had Eminem on all day and haven't had to hear a word of it.

One problem, though, since I got the Tipper Doll, MTV seems to have been deleted off my digital cable lineup.

Oh, I hear that the Lie To Me Al Gore doll includes an easter egg that activates during an election cycle, causing him to flip flop on a number of key issues, including abortion and gun control.

Hmmm...I dunno...that would be half of my CD collection.