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-   -   Why Can't A Woman.... (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=25896)

Trilby 09-14-2011 07:07 AM

Why Can't A Woman....
 
Pickering, why can't a woman be more like a man?
PICKERING
Hmm?
HIGGINS
Yes...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can't a woman be like that?
Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there's one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a woman take after like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like us?
[To Mrs. Pearce]
Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can't a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?

grynch 09-14-2011 07:28 AM

why can't a woman type a short post
concise
to the point



:D

infinite monkey 09-14-2011 07:55 AM

Brianna, wouldn't it be loverly? :)

Spexxvet 09-14-2011 07:57 AM

Henry Higgins is a male chauvinist pygmalion.

infinite monkey 09-14-2011 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet (Post 756197)
Henry Higgins is a male chauvinist pygmalion.

:lol:

infinite monkey 09-14-2011 08:01 AM

We did an out loud reading of Pygmalion in HS English class. I got to be Eliza because I was the only one who could do the accent. ;)

sexobon 09-14-2011 09:05 AM

Why Can't A Woman....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna (Post 756190)
Pickering, why can't a woman be more like a man?
PICKERING
Hmm?
HIGGINS
Yes...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can't a woman be like that?
Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there's one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a woman take after like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like us?
[To Mrs. Pearce]
Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can't a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?

Because.

grynch 09-14-2011 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sexobon (Post 756217)
Because.

http://www.englishforum.ch/images/bu...ost_thanks.gif

infinite monkey 09-14-2011 09:21 AM

For Pete's sake (sorry Pete) like we would even WANT to be like a man. Puh.

I'd be genderless before I'd be a man. :lol:

grynch 09-14-2011 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 756220)
For Pete's sake (sorry Pete) like we would even WANT to be like a man. Puh.

I'd be genderless before I'd be a man. :lol:

that can be arranged...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/0..._n_502851.html

Spexxvet 09-14-2011 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 756220)
For Pete's sake (sorry Pete) like we would even WANT to be like a man. Penis envy aside.

I'd be genderless before I'd be a man. :lol:

ftfy

infinite monkey 09-14-2011 10:59 AM

I saw you over there eyeing my peanuts. I don't give a hoot about your peanuts, but I can see that you are envious of mine.

Get your own peanuts!

infinite monkey 09-14-2011 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob Dylan
She takes just like a woman, yes she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.


Pico and ME 09-14-2011 01:39 PM

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

infinite monkey 09-14-2011 01:42 PM

:)

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child,
But she's always a woman to me


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