Group therapy time
 

I have been living a completely untenable daydream for a good four days now. I mean really living it--thinking about it constantly, playing the story out years into the future in my mind, planning out a variety of imaginary conversations I would have in this imaginary series of events.

Before you go all, "Live the dream!" on me, let me reiterate that this daydream is not just unrealistic, it is completely and totally impossible. I understand that it's typical escapism, and not surprising for a person under stress... but knowing the origin hasn't stopped me from focusing on it yet. How unhealthy is this, and how long before I ought to be concerned with the obsession?

How completely and totally impossible is it?

Hmm...is that really wrong? Does it affect your life?

LB's question is the whole thing.

As obsessive thoughts go, this is probably one of the better ones. There are the hoarders, the counters, the hand-washers...

my thought is that if you are concerned about the obsession... aware that it is an obsession then isn't that the first step in getting control of it?

doesn't AA say that the first step to recovery is awareness and admitting to a problem?

now then... onto the more important matters.......where did I leave that vodka?

Daydreams are just escapism.
Indulge yourself.

I do.

Clod, no matter what you do, Dana will NOT have sex with you. Oh wait, that's my obsession. ;)

Seriously, though, is your daydream harmful to others? If you're dreaming about what you would do with your powerball winnings, it's no big thing. If you're dreaming about running away to join the circus or shooting someone, you probably want to move on.

It is somewhat similar to this. Except somehow I would take my kids with me and their medical care would not be adversely affected in any way. :)

Just reaching, buttttttttttt...

If it's a crush on another one or another way of life, it'll pass. And it's normal. Especially for someone with the challenges you face.

Keep thinking about it.

Eventually, like everything else, it'll lose it's allure.

Clod,
It is a choice and an indication. You can take small steps toward it and stop before the point of no return and see if it gets better or worse. You can also choose to put your mind and attention somewhere else.

When it just won't go away then you need to look at what it is saying to you.

Find a moment or two of quiet (I know, easier said than done) and listen to your heart, not your head. If it is the right thing, then the universe and FSM will underwrite your actions. If it is the wrong thing then you will be swimming upstream.

Not sure if that makes sense or helps. :hug:

She was beautiful as southern skies
The night he met her
She was married to someone
He was doggedly determined that he would get her
He was old, he was young
From time to time he'd tip his heart
But each time she withdrew

Everybody loves the sound of a train in the distance
Everybody thinks it's true

Well eventually the boy and the girl get married
Sure enough they have a son
And though they both were occupied
With the child she carried
Disagreements had begun
And in a while they fell apart
It wasn't hard to do

Everybody loves the sound of a train in the distance
Everybody thinks it's true

Two disappointed believers
Two people playing the game
Negotiations and love songs
Are often mistaken for one and the same

Now the man and the woman
Remain in contact
Let us say it's for the child
With disagreements about the meaning
Of a marriage contract
Conversations hard and wild
But from time to time
He makes her laugh
She cooks a meal or two
Everybody loves the sound of a train in the distance
Everybody thinks it's true
Everybody loves the sound of a train in the distance
Everybody thinks it's true

What is the point of this story
What information pertains
The thought that life could be better
Is woven indelibly
Into our hearts
And our brains

--Paul Simon

Philip Larkin
An Arundel Tomb (cropped)

The stone finality
They hardly meant has come to be
Their final blazon, and to prove
Our almost-instinct almost true:
What will survive of us is love.

It's not true of course. Love dies before beauty. And the survivor loves again, so it trascends death, if not in the way poets mean. I love to read about love, and cry about it, but it doesn't mean anything to me in real life.

I too have a recurring daydream of stepping into the past and then living this alternate reality where all is well and the worries of my "new normal" (as its called) are gone. Where I can choose the future I wanted without the restrictions and responsibilities that I now deal with 24/7. . .
It comes and goes for me now. I cannot think about it much - it depresses the hell outta me knowing it cannot happen.

I try to focus on the little things, the positive things and just go from there.