Here's the story
 

I finally recieved my meds. I had 2 biopsies this week. The first was on my prostate and the second was on my shoulder. My low cortisol levels have asllowed me to develop a pretty nasty staph infection.

I disappeared because I felt like I was making a fool out of myself by appearing pathetic. I can't stand pity. Out in the real world, I'm a pretty hard nosed old school cop or in the National Guard my guys swear R. Lee Ermey is my twin. What I'm getting at is I allowed too many people to see how soft or vulnerable I really am at times. I couldn't stand that. Be it pride or arrogance, the mean old son of a bitch role is all that I have.

That being said, some of you might be puzzled because you have seen videos of children's projects I participate in. Children are my soft spot. They melt my heart. God help you if I catch you abusing a child.

I disappeared just like I did for awhile after I made a complete idiot out of myself when Cassie left me. I even took medical leave from work.

Plthjinx, Tulip, Merc, Dana, and SC. I appreciate you checking on me. I'm back at work, semi-light duty. Look over this post, it is rambling but somehow in my mind it makes sense.

Glad to see you back -did you get the biopsy results yet?

Glad you're back. Your hard-ass credentials are still intact.

Glad you are here, Sarge.

Big Sarge, whatever persona you display, that's up to you. You fit in here, and you were missed.

It's good to see you again.

Welcome back BS! :-)

Wow, irl you are a bad MoFo?? You totally stumped me Sarge...your heart is just too damn big....;).

Oh i can believe he's a Bad MoFo.

I also think he has a heart of gold.

Missed you, Sarge. Glad to see you back.

BTW, my family loves Ermy's Lock n Load show. We watch it on Netflix. Have you seen those?

Hiddy-Ho neighbor

Nice to see you back here you old bastard :heart-on:

Welcome back, Sarge :)

Missed you Sarge, as I said in PM.

You mean a lot to a lot of people here.
As I said, we don't know about your persona or your outer shell, because here you type what's in your mind. So it's a shortcut to the real you - and here you come across as kind and open hearted.

I can't say my soft spot is children (I'm not sure I have a soft spot that way - my red-hot-spot perhaps is inequality) but I will say that working with them is the most worthwhile thing I have ever done in my life. Being a good father, and protecting children in general in no way compromises a Tough Guy.

For goodnes sake don't ever think expressing your emotions here is pathetic.
Perhaps breaking down in the supermarket and telling the cashier all your issues might be a little suspect. Or getting on the bus and hugging the driver, telling him about your past and why it makes you respect him. But coming to the Cellar and offloading is normal and appropriate. And certainly at the level you have shared with us. You have not made a fool of yourself. You have not made an idiot of yourself. You are a decent human being.

I just won't have a conversation with you about capital punishment ;)

Hi Sarge! Glad to hear from you.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.