10/24/2002: Mummified hand
 

http://cellar.org/2002/mummyhand.jpg

Gimme a hand, will ya!

This is a photograph of an ancient mummified hand released Monday, Oct. 21, 2002, by the C.W. Post Campus of Long Island University in Brookville, N.Y. The hand was given as a gift to Egyptology professor Bob Brier, a renowned mummy expert, from a woman whose father had purchased it in 1926 in Egypt.

Oh no, it's the claw! You get four wishes!

remind me to arrange that cremation
 

Please Don't Bury Me


Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:

Chorus:
Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size
Give my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get "em" out of here
Venus de Milo can have my arms
Look out! I've got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to Rose

Repeat Chorus

Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don't pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It's a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye

Repeat Chorus

Hm...
 

I remember some old TV show where a plumber finds a hand. It was so funny, when he said "Oh, it's only a human hand". The plumber was played by Wayne Knight... anybody remembers the name of that show?

http://us.imdb.com/Name?Knight,+Wayne

?

also, i'd like to comment...

what a great present. it's a sad day when i look down from heaven, or over from my place walking the earth for eternity, and realize that someone has bought my hand.

sniff.

Released? Don't you mean escaped?