May 25, 2010: Pink Handfish
 

http://cellar.org/2010/handfish.jpg

It walks along the ocean floor instead of swimming. It's the elusive Pink Handfish, one of 14 members of the elusive Handfish family.

Because they're fish. With hands. That's it. Do you need a more complicated name?

Anyway, this beast was last seen in 1999 - and only four of them have ever been documented. But scientists have taken until now, the lazy bastards, to grant it official Different Species(TM) status. Maybe it'll show up more now that it has documentation.

Anyway, I've appealed for a rename: the Pink Age-Spotted Ornery Bastard fish with Silicone-Injected Plumped Lips.

NatGeo has the details, and did we mention this doof has only been seen in the vicinity of Hobart, Tasmania.

Before I was born late one night,
My Papa said everything's alright
The doctor laughed,when mama laid down,
With a stomach bouncing all around
Mama gave birth to the hand-fish

I could barely walk when I milked a cow
When I was three, I pushed a plow
While chopping wood I moved my legs,
And I started dancing while I gathered eggs
Townfolk clapped, I was only six
he'll out dance em' all
"He's a born hand-fish!"

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah - everybody!

Born to hand-fish, baby,
Born to hand-fish baby- yeah!

How low can you go?
How low can you go?
How low can you go?
How low can you go?

Higher, higher, higher and higher
Now can you hand-fish, baby?
Oh can you hand-fish, baby?
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah
Born to hand-fish, oh yeah!

If you could capture one, you could take it on tour and make money hand over fish.

I'd change the name to the Pink Edward G. Robinson Fish.

He's a handsome fish.

Finger food?

His nose looks tickly.

That's not his nose. ;)

That's no handfish! That's Shawnee on a night out making her way to the bar!

Yeah, look at me! You can dress me up, but you can't ____ (fill in the blank)

glub glub glub

So that's where fish fingers come from.

Over here we call them fish dicks.

And yours appears to be covered in Bass Turds. :D

You so funny. :lol:

"Pink handfish" sounds like a euphemism for something naughty. ;)