Career Option: Tour Guide
 

They park themselves right across the street from the Liberty Bell...those pseudo-trolley cars that take tourists around to see the sites of the city. I used to see them roll past my old CVS store when I worked in Society Hill...sometimes I'd wave to the tourists for shits and grins.

Now that seems like a fun job to do! Take tourists around Center City to show them all the cool historical things in our city. I'm good at hawking things...I have a sparkling personality...I'm good at answering stupid questions.

Unfortunately, there are some drawbacks: The pay is probably shitty. The cars are practically open, so it's hot as hell in the summer and cold as fuck in the winter. And people would probably get on my nerves after a while.

Seeing the tour trolleys inspired me to think of my own version:

"Welcome to Philadelphia, motherfucker!"

A nominal fee not only shows you the standard fare, but the places that the regional tourism board doesn't want you to see.

--"And here we have the badlands, an area notorious for open-air drug activity." I would pay a drug dealer to yell at tourists..."I'm gonna kill you motherfucker! I know where you're staying!"

--"Look! There's a whore! $35 gets you 2 hours."

--"And here at 8th and Market is a big fucking hole in the ground that the city is currently doing nothing about."

Now that is a tour I would like to spend my money on. Sign me up Sycamore. :D

Anytime I visit a new place, I try to check out everything, including the seedy parts. I can tell you where not to go in 5 major US cities. :)