How Do You Get Past Self-Doubt
 

Wah, I don't mean to turn this into a pity party or anything. I mean, I'm not depressed, I'm just kind of down and frustrated. You know this feeling, probably -- you've done good things in the past, perhaps risen to a point where other people also think you're fairly good at what you do, but then it comes time to do it one more time . . . another day, another dollar, another paper to write, another day on the job, whatever it is . . . and it hits you: crap, what if I can't do it this time?

I haven't done much paying work for a while, because while in college I haven't had time to market myself. So naturally I wonder, what if I get this damn degree and nobody wants me? What if I am completely wrong about being good at what I do?

I have to write two papers for one of my classes - nothing major, 4-5 pages with a couple of sources - but I'm staring at the damn assignment sheet thinking I know NOTHING about how to write this thing.

Is it the cold medicine? Is it being tired? Am I just getting too damn old? Was I never anything special in the first place?

Of course I know I'll do it and probably get an A and think I'm the kitty's PJ's for a while thereafter. But in the meantime, I hate going through this phase and would really like to skip it.

Thoughts?

the only thought that comes to my mind is .....STFU.

you are NOT special. you are NOT better than anyone.

you are a shaved space monkey. do or do not. win or lose. your actions will determine your results.

How do you think Olympic athletes feel, no rewrites, no editing, everyone watching with great expectations?
All stars have stage fright to some degree, then they prove why they are stars, all over again.
You will too. ;)

Does it help that EVERYONE goes through this and that the only way to combat it is to do what LJ suggests and just get it done?

I think women are more prone to dwell on these types of feelings, however, in your case, it does sound like the cold medicine is the real culprit.

Pick one:

I'll take bottom left, please, Squirell!

Juni, juni, juni, juni...

Where to begin?

Does your A grubbing Never get old?
have you never been mellow?

Do you ever not make a hot breakfast, a homemade from-scratch brownie, a military-cornered bed, an "A" paper?

Get over it. It's a long, winding road to nowhere - A or no A - not many people care unless you're burning up the halls of Harvard or some such or just signed with Random House.

All will be well, all will be well and all manner of things shall be well. It's only WSU. It's a job - not an adventure.

How to get past self-doubt: make sure everything you ever do is perfect. Document everything so that nobody can ever question your performance.

This won't do anything to ease the bone-crushing burden of constant self-doubt, but it will do wonders for your career, if you can execute 100%.

What she said!

Find what is holding you back, Juniper and figure out a way to deal with it.

Lots of people have self-doubt.. I know I doubt myself all the time. In fact, I'm going through a really dark period in my life.. I'm in a funk right now that I'm taking my sweet time to get out of and I feel I'm wasting my youth in doing so.

My dad used to actually give me advice.. he threw out "fake it till ya make it". I never really followed this, but I thought you might like it. School is important.. if you want an A.. no one is going to give it to you. You have to earn it.. and if you get a B, so what? Sooner or later you'll have to deal with mediocrity anyway. If you're perfect all the time, how will you deal with something negative?

K. I had a right long reply ready to post and I hit a key ( i have no idea what) on my keyboard and the page vanished along with my response...

Probably as well. It was reasonably constructive for about 5 words, then morphed into my own list of major doubts about self/path/abilities etc etc.

There are probably people who don't go through this on a semi regular basis, but i don't know very many of em to speak to :P


[eta] ah, that's right, I forgot ... I started this with the intention of offering advice: I don't think there's much point trying to convince yourself it doesn't matter if you don't get the grade you are shooting for; or if your plans on where this education can put you dont work as you'd hoped/anticipated. If they matter to you, then they matter. But having recognised that, it's worth also recognising why they matter. These are the things you are good at. One paper that doesn't meet your own high standards, and a possible future need to adapt your business plans to suit whatever market realities you find yourself facing, don't change that fact. It's also worth recognising that whilst at one level you may be mired in self-doubt, at some deeper level you are convinced of your ability to meet these challenges and are equally convinced that you are good at what you think you are good at. Recognise the fears and acknowledge their value; then put your trust in yourself.

One foot: forward.

good, now:

Other foot: forward.

Very good. Repeat.

But what if there's an oncoming bus full of new issues and worries? What should the next action be?!

Regarding the attitude about perfection -- addressing especially Brianna -- OH Wow, if you only knew.

I do like getting A's, and I do also enjoy homemade from-scratch brownies. But I'm lucky to make my bed at all, and believe me, the perfection ends right there.

Maybe that's why: I figure if I can excel in ONE area of my life, if I"m mediocre-to-sucky in everything else, who cares?

And y'all are just being mean to me. Geez.

I'm going to take my dolls and go home. And hang out with people who really care about my pity party. Yeah, nobody.

I got past self doubt long ago. All it took was realizing that I really *was* unremarkable in every way. However, I'm certain that *you* are entirely terrific, so fuhgeddaboutit and just keep getting out of bed each day and doing what you do.