Stupid Texas
 

One of my closest friends is relocating to Texas at the end of the month. I can understand people doing the opposite and coming to Colorado. But what on earth is in Texas?? I'll tell you: smashed armadillos in the middle of the road, tumble weeds big enough to carry away poodles, flat, flat, flat as far as the eye can see, women wearing what amounts to masks of Mary Kay cosmetics, summers that only a bedoin can withstand, and last but not least - the Bush family.

And guess what my friend is going to do? Sell avertisements on bar glasses. Like "Drunk? Called the Armadillo Cab Company!" or "DUI? Call GW's second cousin. We got GW off and we'll get you off!"

You can't tell me a person can make a living selling ads on bar classes. The patrons are two sauced to read them, anyhow.

And why is she really going? To take up with an old BF named Steve who lives in the Plano/OK Dallas area. If he wasn't right the first time around, why should he be right this time? He probably spends all his time trying to decipher the writing on bar glasses.

I want to throw my body in front of my friend's U-Haul, but I don't think this would stop her. So, I'm writing this hate letter to Texas instead. Somebody should have bombed the place years ago./end rant :eyebrow:

That's right, when you lose someone you love, blame their paramor... damn Texas. :eyebrow:

Plano and Houston are 300 miles away from each other.
So, I can see that your fact-checking is at least consistent.

Sorry. Plano/Dallas. All the Texas cities run together for me.

Sam, you sound a little jealous.;)

I wouldn't mind a BF, but not one in Texas. Did you know they wear alligator skin boots there? :eek:

I've never owned a pair of alligator skin boots in my life

I bet you wear snakeskin ones, then. :rolleyes:

I have uncles in Colorado who would probably both wear alligator skin boots, if they don't already. Neither are from Texas. I've never worn boots of snake, alligator, ostrich or cow.
I don't wear makeup, I did buy mary kay from a friend to help her out one time.
The Bush family is not representative of this state, just like Columbine doesn't define Colorado.
The heat ain't so bad, that's what air conditioning is for. As least we don't have cold bad enough we need to grow a fur coat to survive.

Just because you choose to be ignorant of our state doesn't mean I'm gonna let you get away with insulting it.

Steve might have been right the first time around, the timing could have been wrong. Or it could be that people change, he could have been wrong, or your friend could have been and now that has changed. All that could be different now, second chances exist for a reason. I'm sorry you're losing your friend. Hope you come to terms with it soon enough.

Come visit you might get a chance to see a real live jack-a-lope.

You really don't want to get Dallas and Houston mixed up. For 1 you'll be about an 8hr drive off your mark. The weather varies widely, so does the pollution. Also, Houston has more cancer. No seriously, they do. There have been studies. Its the chemical industry. Please don't hate me Houston!

One last thing, Texas is THE fastest growing state in the US, a lot of people are making the same choice your friend is.

I'll see your complaints about Texas, and raise you. I live in what I euphemistically call the Asshole of Texas. No one gets it here.

Perfectly understandable, considering your razor-sharp powers of discernment.
I mean, twenty-five million people are bound to be a homogeneous group, right?

I thought it was against the law to be homogeneous in Texas.

Not since the Supreme Court struck down that law. We've been rampantly homogenous since then.

I think the state is irrelavent, and therefore you are being unfair. It's stupid Some-other-State-Than-Where-I-Am and my friend is moving away from me for a guy. Could be Timbuktu. and no, I have no idea what state that's in.

and Brian, there are lots worse places than our city. Like the one a stone's throw away in another country.