A few days ago I stumbled across this website and against my first impression (I wasn't there for dating secrets...), was surprised and intrigued by three articles written by a dating coach and ex-pick up artist. Basically, the articles argue that in the dating sector, women have uneven amounts of power and men, being frustrated by this, are lashing out in self-destructive and sexist ways. He goes on to claim that by redefining masculinity and shifting power on more equal terms, healthier relationships will follow, benefiting both sexes. Here are the links to all three articles and I believe three more will be written in the near future.
http://www.datingsecretsformen.com/2...roblem-part-i/
http://www.datingsecretsformen.com/2...oblem-part-ii/
http://www.datingsecretsformen.com/2...tifying-women/
While I believe many of his arguments are weak, he mostly just claims that women have an uneven advantage in dating and expect us to believe him because he is a dating coach, and his biological statements are arguable, I agree with the main premise of the articles. I have personally noticed strong frustration by many men in terms of dating and meeting girls and I have also observed self-destructive behavior following from this. Internet culture is by far the best example of this. Any visit to most forums, especially forums such as 4-chan, will result in seeing a very large amount of sexism varying from sexist terms, to harsh generalization upon women, and jokes about degrading women. Pornography in the past few decades have become extremely degrading and many men enjoy hardcore porn where women are treated like dogs. Also, the rise of sites such as Maddox, Tucker Max, and other “fratire” writers directly show the beliefs and mindsets of young internet users. Besides that, it is obvious of male views just from listening and watching to how men view and treat women. Most believe that they can trick women into liking them, some women will fall for it too, and even more will blame their failures on women and not their strategy.
For the argument on power, I do not have a strong opinion either way since I have seen direct support from both sides. Obviously, many men abuse their privilege and there are still great hypocritical social stigmas against women but women seem to have a better ability to choose and have much greater success when approaching. Either way, there is a great problem with our society in this sector and power does have a major impact on it.
As for the solution, besides some minor details, I fully agree with the writer. The first step for better male/female relationship in dating and all areas is for men to stop treating women like objects. This will not only allow women to be treated as equals but make it easier for guys to meet and get women as well. I can’t believe how many times I’ve seen males fail at picking up women and remain confused while not noticing that they treat women like dirt and that is not seen as attractive. Besides that, most girls at bars have an impenetrable wall up at all times making them impossible to approach because of all the creepers and sexist assholes that have tried in the past. From a male’s perspective, it is much more beneficial to treat women with respect and if more men follow through on this, relationships and male/female interaction could benefit as a whole. Its sad how many people believe that the cocky sexist asshole is getting women because he is sexist. He is getting women because he is confident and can sexually entice them. Most “nice guys” are not sexually appealing to women because of a lack of social skills and confidence, yet their failure is blamed upon their respect towards women. Even worse, respect towards women is often used synonymously with pushover, which is not true within the least. I can say with certain that a confident secure male that is willing to tease yet treat a woman with respect will have much greater success than anyone else (by success I don’t mean one-night stands….cocky assholes will always have the advantage there). There are obviously many more factors involved, being well-liked by other women, looks, etc, but when taking out those factors, a secure confident non-sexist male will succeed over insecure cocky sexist assholes.
As for the last argument, getting men to focus on improving their personal lives is spot on for more reasons than just getting laid. While this is not true for everyone, self-improvement is one of the best ways to keep motivated, be happy, and reach one’s full potential. If the majority of men worked towards improving themselves, I would expect great changes in terms of politics, social dynamics, economy, and world relations.
So to sum this up with an ironic corny joke, get better at getting laid to fight against sexism.
