Pleaser + Pleaser = .....?
 

Ok, this is gonna sound weird, but just go with me here....

What do you do when two totally *pleaser* lovers get together?...sounds awesome doesnt it? two people who's entire mission is to please each other within an inch of consciousness.

But what if one of those *pleasers* isnt really happy or satisified unless the other is totally happy and pleased?

What if the other *pleaser* relies so heavily on the pleasing to heighten their low self esteem, and cement the other's love for them?

Not looking so awesome now, huh?

Do you think a good long term sexual relationship needs a balance of please and receive?

Sure, a sexual relationship where one person is a giver and the other a taker, seems a great fit...but I cant see that working long term either.

Work out an alternating schedule. Seriously tell him you want to take turns being the pleased and pleaser, or the giver and taker if you wish. That's kind of how it should work in most cases anyway.

Ha, its not me, I definitely aint getting any pleaser or receiver action of any kind.

But yeah youre right, it should work that way. It appears its not though.

Switch to bondage and discipline and that way there is no doubt who is in charge. Flip a coin to come up with who is going to be the Top that night. Go with it. The other person will just have to do what they are told and enjoy it. :D

I can't imagine two pleasers being attracted to each other. There is something to be said about being pleased for the sake of being taken and pleasing for the sake of taking. mm grr. Maybe that doesn't make sense.

still sleepy here

What happened to the previously mentioned 'himbo'?

If a schedule of turn and turn about is not working then it's not about pleasing each other it's about control ... which is sometimes what the pleaser is after (don't ask me how I know:cool:) ...

Personally, can't figure out where this stuff got so complicated. When I'm with a lady, there doesn't seem to be a lot of rules outside of keeping an ear out in case the word "No" ever comes up.

But BDSM with it's tops and bottoms and doms and subs and this thing about givers and receivers and pleasers and takers and holy freaking cow, isn't this already complicated enough?

Y'know, maybe I'm horribly naive, but it seems to me (your mileage may vary) that good times are good times. Nice, heavy-breathing, passionate, f@#! what anyone else thinks times. This culture of acting to roles sounds like one borne of boredom.

So out on a pretty tenuous limb here, but I'm just going to say that the BDSM culture is bred on people that aren't feeling that f#!@-all passion, can't throw away their labels and just screw like there's no tomorrow because that other person is that moment's center of their universe, etc.

As for mutual "givers", c'mon, just be honest and say "Look, I can't get off without you..." Find a balance, work out a system, know that you can be totally boney for each other and just have fun and stop looking for problems.

-dis

(and maybe someday I can find this as easy as I try to talk it up)

Hmm, bit slow on the uptake of me, but have realised that 'himbo' and 'pleaser+ pleaser' aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.

Ohhhh, he's my work himbo, we dont bump uglies. He just looks damn hot and is as thick as mum's gravy.

Funny bugger though, can get me out of bad mood with the flex of Des or Troy.

Would you please translate that into English?

Errr, lol, thats what his *guns* are named...Left one "Des", right one "troy", put em together and you have Destroy. See, I told you, not much going on UP there.

:smack:

:lol:


About that conversation I guessed at....

After my wife and I eliminated all the "baggage" that used to live with us things got a whole lot better. This "pleaser and/or taker" thing. I don't know really.

I guess all I can really say is... things are really good for both of us. Maybe we're both. :)