The Cellar - The Cellars Greatest Hits

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The Cellars Greatest Hits

dhamsaic nominated a warch post here for top ten status on the cellar so I'm thinking how bout a greatest hits thread for the summer doldrums? Funniest one-liners, impenetrable rants, unreadable postings, shit storms, flames that sort of thing.

How about the first time I got into an argument with Dave? :)

That one falls under the "superbly well crafted and well reasoned, most thoroughly contemplated and thought-out posts" category, right? :)

As posted by Dave in this thread in November:

"Oh yeah. I have a suggestion - on your tombstone, have inscribed 'Here lies WWARNER11, the fucking smartass.'"

That was classic...Dave has posted some gems.

Of course, so have I, but I'm not going to submit my own stuff. :)

Hubris has also come up with some fantastic gems, like this humorous exchange with Griff from here:

Griff: "Shut up, pay yer taxes, and thank God you have betters who understand what art is."

HB: "Oh.

Why art man not say so first?

Ogg feel better now.

Ogg go make lunch now.

Cow meat on bread.

Good. Good.

Later, bang rocks together."

--
And then there was the extremist thread he created...man, that was good stuff.

Quote:

Originally posted by dhamsaic
That one falls under the "superbly well crafted and well reasoned, most thoroughly contemplated and thought-out posts" category, right? :)

Uh, yeah. Lol.

I think you came off as a complete raving madman. On the other hand, I look back at my post today, and can't decipher what in the hell I was thinking. I feel strangely compelled to reply to myself and start arguing with myself! So I think I can see why I provoked such a response. :)

From here.

Quote:

Originally posted by dhamsaic
This is really simple to solve.

Jag - back it up.

Simple as that.

Get some facts and back up your assertions. Or try and reason them out better.

Remember: criminals will *always* have guns. Period. Do you want your police chasing after them with butterknives?

Quote:

Originally posted by jaguar
First of all, dham either post somehting useful or shut the fuck up, the whining "yea - do as shes says "is just...belh

That's just too funny. I mean..... my god. If only I had the power to shoot down people's arguments like that. :)

And later on in the same thread..

Quote:

Originally posted by MaggieL
That's called "begging the question". Your hypotheticals are full of holes, jag. Now go do your homework or something.

Lol! No.. she doesn't talk down to Jag at all. Condecending? What?

Here's some jewels from this thread.

Quote:

Originally posted by Nic Name
To be perfectly frank, I find Jag's writing style to be very interesting ... in the genius style of J.R.R. Tolkien

Quote:

Originally posted by sycamore
I wholeheartedly agree! Jag's literary style represents the "new adults"--the disenchanted and disenfranchised, who cling desperately to that ray of light we call hope.

Quote:

Originally posted by MaggieL
Trying to hold Jag to a connected train of thought, a reasoned, principled position--to find out exactly what it is that he *is* saying--has proved elusive in most of the threads I've read he's been a part of...the moment he's challenged, and on the horns of a dilemma of his own making, the smoke machine turns on and there's nothing left but fog. The fragments of his stream-of-conciousness discourse mostly just don't add up. A half-remebered slogan, a value judgement shot from the hip, and he's off to the next thread.

Quote:

Originally posted by jaguar
As you know, made obvious by your fascination with my age, I am not yet old enough to have written any classical literature, nor am I a professional writer - hence, I lack, and always have, a team of professional editors to temper my posts. What I do have, however, is a pair of imperfect human eyes - and these sometimes fail me. My sincerest apologies for causing your delicate senses to trip over my occasional jumble of letters.

...snip...

and as I have stated before, I am not trying to get published - merely, I am trying to get a point across. Sometimes this is like ramming my head into concrete, or trying to explain nuclear physics to a five year old who is running around, fingers firmly implanted in ears, screaming "YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA". That five year old then, of course, turns around and attempts to decimate my arguments in the most condescending, holier-than-thou manner I've ever been unlucky enough to stumble upon.

Ah...sweet memories....
Not.

I didn't need a reminder about the many hours i've wasted on here when i could have been doing someing constructive, like snorting wizz fizz.

Quote:

Originally posted by dhamsaic
Stats also suggest that the average United States human swallows 3-4 spiders per year. Yum!

Wizz fizz? Its like the coating on allot of lollies in pure form, in a bag, with a little spoon. Some people like to snort it coz it tingles like hell, i know a lawyer that does it with like its crack just to freak people out.

I was going to point out Hubris' extremist thread. I've said before, and I'll say it again, that is probably what I consider the post on the Cellar. It was a beautiful thing. :)

I should also note that the spiders thing has since been debunked. It's a myth, my friends. Nothing more.

Jag, you have become incredibly cranky lately. Lighten up man. :)

Griff and Tony's follow-ups to the extremist thread were great too.

The "Be a person" thread...heh...that was a blast. :)

Dave posted some gems in this thread too.

HA! Man, I had forgotten about those. God Muse was an ass. :)