Nothing Is Worse Than...
 

This is a phrase I hear all the time, and it always strikes me as being a bit silly. People say things like "there's nothing worse than making a sandwich and finding out your bread is moldy..." etc. and I think, well yes, in fact, there are millions of things worse than that. I mean, your teeth could fall out. Your dog could die. A meteor could fall on your house. That would be worse.

Anyone else ever notice that one and find it a little bit silly?

Well, in the interest of humor -- what else is there "nothing worse than?" You know, funny things. Not sad things. We all know there's always something that could be worse. :mad2:

I'll start.

There's nothing worse than walking barefoot through your house at 6 a.m. and stepping on something squishy.

Your turn.

these will be funnier if they've actually happened to you.

nothing worse than:

stepping in wet dog shit in the rain....barefoot. ...and then stepping in another pile with the other foot while hopping around, and slipping and putting your hand in yet another pile of wet loose rained on dog shit.

nothing.

How about when the cat presents you with a feathered trophy, but it's not quite dead yet, so it's frantically flying around inside your house, pooping and bleeding all over it's flight path, which includes running into you while you're trying to open the door to get it the eff out of your house? You finally shoo it out, only to find that the cat decided to drag it back in (now fully dead) lter the same day when you weren't looking. Good kitty.

Reminds me of this guy with his mouth clamped shut, swimming in sewage in Gaza.

Damn, those are both pretty good. I mean bad. :)

I get spat on, have to wade through lakes of piss, and deal with fecal decorative individuals on a regular basis.

My standards are different.

But okay, stepping on gum. That's gross. I really hate that.

Nothing's worse than being an introvert and finding yourself on the Baby's R Us PA system begging other shoppers to be on the lookout for your missing toddler, all because the customer service person doesn't get what you want when you come to them for help in searching the cavernous store for your missing kid, and they hand you the PA mic instead of initiating a search. I learned though, that the store manager comes out in a hurry and takes control of things when a customer gets on the PA system.

Nothing is worse than 18 month deployment to Iraq.

Nothing is worse than a level of flu where you vomit, blast a torrent of liquid shit into your underwear while vomiting, remove your underwear, vomit again and then blast a torrent of liquid shit at the opposite wall and floor.

trust me on this, just get in the shower and turn it on before round two begins.

oh dear god.

that's some funny shit.

It is much better to puke in the wastebasket and poop in the toilet. I know. When I get that sick, my butt gets priority seating.

There's nothing worse than regrowing eyebrow hairs that get trapped under the skin.
They can be seen long before they can be tweezed out.

However there is nothing as satisfying as waging war on them, dragging the subborn little midgets out by their wispy heads and gloating over their long roots and fat bottoms.

Or is that just me?

Also - there's nothing worse than when people say, "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy." It makes me feel evil, because not only would I wish the worst things in the world on anyone I consider an enemy, but I'd do a little victory dance when I found out it happened. Even if I was in a public place. And it might involve me going, "Wooop! Wooop!"

There's nothing worse than chemo.

Bri wins.

Tell her what she's won Johnny.

YAY!