Why were you late for work
 

From CNN the top twelve excuses for being late.
I figure we can come up with some much more creative ones.

Here are 12 of the most outrageous excuses employers have heard for being late to work:

Whatcha got cellarites?

Had one from a student recently. He was supposed to be giving a presentation with his partner, but was AWOL. Partner phones him and gets the following excuse:

My housemate locked the door when he left and I can't get out of my flat.

I fell asleep on the shitter while solving a Sudoku.

I always say my car was broken into.

Haha.
About 10 years ago i missed a day of school because my cousin (who walked me to the bus stop) needed to do a poo before we left, he took so long i missed the bus.

I felt like the greatest contribution I could make to the world today would be to stay in bed and not inflict my presence on anybody. So I did. But then my wife wanted to make the bed so she threw me out. I figured if I had to be fucking miserable I might as well come in to work and share with everybody at the office.

Heh, I think I may have used something similar at my old job. I think I told my boss that no one would want to be around me that day...it was a joke based in reality.

This excuse is completely plausible for me:

I was late because I was enjoying breakfast and reading the paper and just left a bit later than usual. Sorry.

I was late because I had better things to do -- like sleep.

I was late because there were a bunch of idiots on the interstate and I had to stop and kill a few of them.

Never been late for work, or anything, in my life. I'd rather get where I need to be 2 hours early than 1 minute late.

Wow Shel, you sure are anal.

I got to work late because I got home(from work) at 1 am, dickhole.

Once I had a supervisor giving me shit for being late. I pointed out the bar didn't close til three, I stayed til four, and as it was now 6:30 I was pretty sure I wasn't sober yet... He couldn't say much because he wasn't either and didn't want his boss to know.

Same guy busting my chops another time for being an hour late, he just walked away when my response was, "you saw that stripper right?".

My 20's are a blur.

Last time I called in late I told them I couldnt leave until my husband came home because I grounded my stepson.

Pico and ME : Meany stepmom