Jesus vs Mary
 

Be careful what you wish for. :p

Who would win in a battle of Jesus the Savior vs Mary the Immaculate Virgin?

Jesus would probably have some quick footwork from wandering around beepin' at people all the time, but Mary's got the mom smack-down thing going on.

You left out a choice...

"The American TV-viewing public"

Jesus, for sure...I mean Mary does have mom-power, but Jesus got his powers straight from God. Mary just doesn't have those kind of genes.

http://www.cellar.org/image.php?u=99...4&type=profile
Oh yea, Chuck!

link needs help, joe.

Ain't no fun watching a battle where the one guy just keeps turning the other cheek... even bitch-slapping gets old after awhile.

heehee

"Turn the other cheek, Jesus!" slap

"Mom, I love ya, but an eye for an eye, you know" poke, smack, kick

This point always confuses me. Is Mary Jesus's mom or wife? (or both?) Sorry, but I haven't read the book.

My head just exploded.

You've just proven that one doesn't need one's head to post on the Cellar.

We, the church, are the bride of Christ. Mary is Mom.

There's a "Man, I hate when my mother-in-law comes to visit" joke in there somewhere.

HLJ, I believe that had been well-established years ago.

You mean the book where Jesus wakes up as a giant cockroach and hilarity ensues as he tries to deliver sermons with his trap-jaw? That is a good one!

HLJ, in the New Testament there were two women named Mary figuring into Jesus' life.
His mom Mary, in traditional, mainline christianity was married to Joseph, but he was not the biological father of Jesus.
Maybe you've heard of the "Immaculate Conception"? The Holy Spirit caused Mary to become pregnant with the the long promised messiah of the Hebrew people?
You've maybe heard of the Holy Trinity; the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? Together they make up the Godhead, three aspects of one God much in the same way that we are created as a body, mind, and spirit, for example but are one person.
The other Mary that is written about is Mary Magdelene. It was she who figures into an ancient legend of being Jesus' wife in the Grail legends.
Various versions have Jesus dying on the cross, or being taken down before dying and being secretly spirited away by friends.
All versions that I'm aware of have at least Mary moving to the south of France when strong persecution of the first century christians developed in Jerusalem.
Their supposed line of descendants are supposed to make up today's line of "blue bloods", certain Europeon royalty and their progeny that live around the world, and here in the US.
I've studied the subject and don't believe in the actual veracity of the legends. There likely are some facts that are included in the legend, like some known christians moving to southern France, but many legends have grains of truth in them.

Wait for the movie.