Loaded Nachos/ Tortillas
 

BACK STORY:
We went out on Bonfire Night and need to eat quickly and cheaply in a pub.
I am SO unfussy, but it turned out HM Bro was.
Now I was twitching and glancing at my watch every two minutes as we went from place to place, but I was happy with were we ended up, and I was happy that HM and I would share Loaded Nachos.

When it arrived I was very disappointed. The nachos (tortilla chips in this case, although that is forgiveable) were flavoured, the cheese had been baked hard (ie no longer even stringy) and everything was a stodge that had to be picked apart.

On second question from HM Bro I admitted they were , "Close to inedible" meaning another 5 minutes and I would not have done more then pick at the edges. We didn't have time to send them back but I was aware that HM was unhappy with my attitude - he was paying and I had been twitchy all evening.


ADVICE PLEASE:
Am cooking loaded tortillas as an example/ apology.
I have chilli (v good recipe - making with turkey mince to lower fact content)
Guacomole - jar, not risking first time from scratch!
Sour cream for separate bowl
Two cheeses for melting
Jalapenos

Any advice re layering please?
I can prove I wasn't being a nacho snob merely by not leaving the damn thing under a hot grill for 10 minutes, but if I can get any additional advice I'd appreciate it.

From bottom to top:

Chips
Chili/Beans
Cheeses
Guacamole
Sour Cream
Jalapenos

The general rule for me is you go from hot to cold (cheeses of course being stored cold but you want them to be hot and melted on the nachos,) with the exception of the jalapenos because A.) they are a pretty garnish and B.) you wouldn't want to accidentally get three or four buried in a single bite.

I have to say though, chili is rare on nachos around here. Usually it is just refried beans (mashed and cooked-again pinto beans) or black beans. Sometimes ground beef or fajita meat will be layered on top of that, but usually not together with the beans in a chili sauce.

agreed, clobble, but....
you have to do 2 layers of chips/beans/cheese.

dice tomatoes on top, too....but after they come out of the oven...

and i much prefer frejoles negros

Well sure, but she didn't say she had tomatoes. Everything except the beans and cheese should go on after they come out of the oven.

And two layers? What kind of weirdo yankee nonsense is that? I mean, I guess if you're trying to make sure you don't end up with a leftover pile of chips underneath with no toppings... but you should just use fewer chips in that case.

Sorry if it's not traditional - I've had many different layered/ loaded nachos/ tortillas but what I am going for here is an improvement on what we were served. Chilli rather than refried beans, guacamole, sour cream to the side, melted cheese & jalapenos.

Without being overconfident I am pretty sure I cab out-do the mess we were served, just would like help with the order (though authentic advice will be stored away for the future)

I usually do chips chees chips cheese, melt that, then put the beans etc on after with more cheese, melt, then sour cream etc.

actually, I'm going to go make some right now. This has made me hungry for nachos. I'm going to cheat though and use a bottled nachos topping instead of making my own sauce.

authentic advice, eh? well....lah tee dah!.....

Loosely related anecdote:

In high school I went on a school trip to London, and the one really irritating kid insisted that we go to the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch one day. So we did, and he ordered fajitas, which the waitress pronounced "fah-JEE-tahs." When they arrived, she asked if he knew how he was supposed to eat them. We all laughed at her.

they were very tasty

I don't generally advocate violence, but you would have been well within your rights to wallop her. Bearing in mind 60% of Brits know how to pronounce fajitas, and I am working on the rest of them.

They do a cracking Caesar salad though. With anchovies. Which I heard a Merkin practically gag at. READ THE MENU FIRST! (I love anchovies, but this taught me that Caesar Salad does not have universal ingrededients)

hmm, I'm not sure which of two things you are talking about.

Around here (Tex-Mex border, and you can't get any more authentic than that); nachos are tortilla chips topped with a variety of toppings, but most commonly, beef (usually ground, or minced as you would say) or chicken, cheese, sour cream, chiles, tomatos, guac, etc. They are based on regular tortilla chips. Anything on a tortilla is called something else, e.g., tostada, quesadilla -- depending on what you do to it.

There's also a "layered dip" which I'm familiar with, which kind of sounds like what you might be talking about. It's a dip with --uh, yeah, layers-- usually for a party, in which you dip the chips. Very messy, but good.

. . . or do you use tortillas and make your own chips with them? (confused) I've been trying to figure out why you would use tortillas to make nachos (other than making them into chips).

Put the chili on it if you want--what's wrong with that? As long as it tastes good to you.

Maybe the confusion is because "chips" are what Brits call french fries?